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“Sit down. Don’t ask. Do it,” Nikolaus ordered. His voice dropped slightly above a whisper. “I’m on my way there. Hang tight and stay on the line with me.”
The commercial ended and the newscaster came back on under the bright red banner of ‘Breaking News’.
“We’re live on the scene of what appears to be a gas explosion in the Upper East side of Manhattan. Our reporter, Andrea Jacobs is on the scene. Andrea.”
The camera switched to a live shot of an eager brunette with her perfectly coiffed into an over sprayed bob. Andrea Jacobs was standing in front of the smoldering remains of the Carriage House where I’d just been the night before. It was the same Carriage House where Stefan and the Council members were supposedly meeting to discuss whatever mysterious business they had to attend to. It was completely ruined, a charred skeleton of rubble.
“Thanks, Susan. I’m here live on East 83rd Street in Manhattan. Behind me there was an explosion about an hour ago that arson investigators at this point say all points to a gas explosion. The historic Carriage House behind me was destroyed in the blast. We’re unsure if anyone was in the house at the time and police are saying they have found no victims or survivors in their initial sweep.”
“Andrea, is there any information about who owned the property?”
The brunette smiled a bright red saccharine smile for the camera. “It appears to have been owned by a holding company called PB&C LLC. We tried to obtain contact information about the company, but at this point we haven’t had any success.”
Totally tuning out the rest of their chatter, I dropped the phone to the couch. I could hear Nikolaus’ tinny voice calling out for me, but I walked out of the room as if I was in a trance. I had to get away from the television, the annoying reporter, the pictures of the ruined building. Lukas attempted to stop me by grabbing my arm, trying to pull me back to him. His mouth was moving, yet nothing he said made any sense to me. It was if he was speaking to me in another language that I couldn’t understand.
Managing to drag myself into our bedroom, I slammed the door and locked it behind me. I leaned against it and released the sob I’d managed to hold in until I was alone. Locking the door was a moot point, a futile stop gap measure. I knew if Anna or Lukas wanted in badly enough, they would just break down the door. I just needed a few moments to decompress, to think things through without the added confusion of other opinions and their emotions interfering with my own.
Sinking down on the edge of the bed, I drew my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around my legs. Staring blankly off into space, the news report droned in my mind, the words on an infinite loop. ‘Police are saying they have found no victims or survivors.’
He couldn’t have met his final death. It was unimaginable to me. Stefan reminded me of creatures that always figured a way out of the stickiest of situations. He was crafty and cunning. Wavering between staying positive and facing reality, I had to try to stay optimistic. I kept trying to remember that we hadn’t met after almost 1,000 years of separation only to be torn apart this way. There had to be another answer.
But there was a tiny pessimistic part of my mind that had its own opinion. It had weighed the pros and cons of the situation. This glass half empty part if my brain had deduced that if Stefan had been there to attempt to off my father, what if he had been caught in the act, totally unaware? Stefan was unable to see Kian’s future, so how could he possibly predict what my father was going to do? What if his luck had finally run out? What if…
“No!” I whispered to myself. Slowly rocking back and forth, I refused to even consider the possibility. I just had to wait for him to find his way back to me, even if it took another 1,000 years.
I’d willingly wait for him. He was the love of my life, the man I’d been born for. And he was the man that had been so special he’d been made for me twice.
An hour after I'd locked myself away, Anna and Lukas had broken down the door after I'd ignored their pleas for me to let them in. I’d refused to acknowledge that they were there. It wasn’t out of choice. My mind screamed out to them to help me; however, my voice and body didn't want to cooperate. Nothing could soothe me and nothing could console me. The only thing that could put my heart and mind back together again was knowing that Stefan was safe.
But where could he be? Was he trapped somewhere? My phone calls to him went unanswered, the bond between us severed due to Amir’s ability. His presence had been ripped from me, leaving behind a short-circuited, inadequate being that needed him back to be complete and whole again.
Stretched across the bed and gripping a pillow, I was a virtual prisoner in my mind. It was during this time I figured out why every vampire was shocked at our bonding. This was the real reason vampires didn't mate. It had little to do with showing vulnerabilities and weaknesses as I’d first deduced. Bonds were averted because it slowly caused the other to come undone if abandoned. It needed us both actively participating in the connection to be complete, to thrive. Take one away and its retribution was excruciating and debilitating.
I'd stayed curled in the fetal position on our bed. They'd all taken their turns sitting with me. I heard the pity in their voice. I felt the fear in their emotions, breaking through my weakened shields. They were as terrified as me. The only difference is that they weren't bonded to the love of their life or had that precious link ripped violently away with no warning.
Finally exhausting myself, I'd drifted off into a fitful sleep. In my dreamlike state, I was transported to a place I'd never been as a human, yet it seemed as familiar as my childhood home. Before me stood the human version of Stefan, the one I’d seen from his forgotten memories. He was absolutely stunning as a human man. His normally pale skin was lightly tanned from his time by the sea, his golden blond hair was long and gleaming in the sunlight. Tall and beautiful, he was walking along the edge of the sea, his blue eyes contemplative. Instinctively I ran to him, attempting to embrace him. My arms weren't able to make any contact with him. They slipped through him as if I was a ghost and he continued on his trek totally unaware of my interference.
“Stefan!” I yelled after him. I was ready to sink to my knees in the sand when a familiar voice rang out.
"You are not real to this world.”
Spinning around, I found my mother standing in the sand, dressed in the same gauzy dress as during our first meeting. Her long chestnut hair blew in the crisp, salty air. She hurried to me and tugged at my arm, dragging me along behind her. "You are watching something that has already occurred. It is like watching a movie."
"Mother?" I questioned. I was happy to see her but totally confused as to why she’d chosen to come to me again so soon, especially at a time where I was so desperately worried about Stefan. “Why are we here?”
"You needed to see. You need to understand more of what you are," she advised cryptically. "Come with me."
Clasping hands, we followed behind Stefan. He stopped at a large rock and stared out to the sea. Finally, his eyes closed and he began speaking quickly in another language. It wasn't his normal modern Swedish, although it was similar. He spoke so quickly, so softly that I couldn't have understood his words even if I understood the language.
"He is praying in Old Norse. He is asking for guidance to the gods or goddesses that may be listening," Armes whispered. She’d sensed my confusion and was offering her help. She brushed my hair back delicately with two of her fingers. "Watch."
The volume of his voice raised, the familiar timbre tearing at my heart. The heart-wrenching supplications made my throat tighten with unshed tears.
“Skjarr kvikindi. Hitta minn hlið síða. Elska minn, dveljask innan minn fold. Fá minn lífdagar, fagr víf,” he cried, stretching his hands to the sky.
“What did he say? Please, I have to know.”
My mother laid her head on my shoulder, whispering softly in her melodic voice. “Shy creature, come to my side. Love me, stay within my world. Take my life, beautiful woman.”
