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Yet, the knowledge that I had low sperm count threw me for one more than twenty years ago. I wince internally at the memory because Kimber hit the nail on the head. I had an image of myself as a virile alpha male, and when my ex had trouble getting pregnant, I blamed it on her. It wasn’t the rational thing to do, and I put Kathy through the ringer because I was so frustrated. It was only after a year of my ex-wife submitting to every test under the sun, that the doctor thought to ask me to get tested as well. To everyone’s shock, it was me who’d been the problem all along. Evidently, some dudes have a low sperm count for no apparent reason, and I was one of them.
But the damage was already done. Although we conceived Jamie shortly after, Kathy was hurt by my recriminations and misplaced frustration. It wasn’t her fault, but for over year, I’d acted as if it were. We divorced soon after, and I don’t blame my ex for hating me. I don’t even think Kathy hated me at that point anymore. I think she just couldn’t envision a life with me anymore, and we went our separate ways.
But this is too much information for Kimber because the sweet girl’s only twenty. She doesn’t need to hear about my baggage, and the fact that I was a cruel and unrelenting husband. She doesn’t need to hear about the infertility struggle that my ex and I went through, nor the damage I caused which took years of therapy to repair. Instead, Kimber’s young, fancy-free, and innocent. She doesn’t need to hear about an old codger’s sad history.
As a result, I just take her small hand in mine while pressing a tender kiss to her shoulder.
“It’s fine,” I say in a soft voice. “We’ll figure everything out. But can I ask one thing, honey? Are you dead set on getting pregnant?”
Kimber’s face brightens then, so much so that she’s almost beaming with joy.
“Oh yes,” she breathes. “I’d love to have a baby, and Ed – you know that we haven’t been using protection, right? And you haven’t been pulling out.”
I pull her in close for a deep kiss, ravishing her mouth.
“Sweetheart, I never pull out. I always come deep in a woman’s body, wherever it’s her ass, pussy, or mouth.”
She giggles a bit.
“I know, Ed, which means that it’s going to happen sooner or later. I’m only twenty, and very fertile. Look at me,” she giggles, gesturing downwards to her nude form. “I have big boobs, child-bearing hips, and ample thighs. I was made for being pregnant.”
I stare admiringly at the acres of creamy flesh before reaching down to toy with a nipple. It grows hard beneath my fingers as Kimber sucks in a delighted sigh.
“Yes, you were made for bearing children,” I rumble appreciatively. “And I hope you get pregnant with a little girl who looks just like her mother, with the same curly brown hair and vivacious vibe.”
“Vivacious vibe!” Kimber giggles. “What kind of baby is vivacious?”
“Your daughter will be vivacious,” I growl, pressing another kiss to her lips. “I guarantee it. You’d look beautiful pregnant, Kimber.”
She almost explodes with happiness then, even as I curse myself internally. Again, this would be the perfect time to reveal my dark secret – that likely, I can’t get her pregnant for biological reasons beyond our control. Yet I keep mum as she kisses me once more, and our love play begins again. Life is too good at the moment, and I don’t want to stop. I want to enjoy the sassy girl in my arms for as long as I can … and as long as she’ll let me.
11
Kimber
Well, my life has definitely taken a left turn, that’s for sure. It’s been two months since I started living with Ed Ventura, and there are no signs of me moving out. Instead, I take on-line classes during the day while working towards my degree at Coleman. Then, I cook a light dinner, and when Ed comes home, we eat together. It’s wonderful spending time with the handsome man, and our conversation is always lively and engaging, not to mention the fireworks that take place afterwards. Each night, we repair to his bedroom for crazy shenanigans, and I have to say that I’m often sore and achy the next day. In fact, it’s a wonder that I’m not pregnant yet, although I’m sure it’s just a matter of time.
Humming happily, I let myself into Ed’s home office on the ground floor. The truth is that I’d love to have the handsome venture capitalist’s baby. Wouldn’t that be amazing? I can already see it – a baby boy with Ed’s blue eyes and the same dimple in his left cheek. He’d gurgle and coo, and have Ed wrapped around his little finger. Oh yes, the older man would turn into a bowl of mush out of adoration for his son.
