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I do as he tells me, the arousal in my core swirling to new heights when he gently thrusts his first and middle finger in and out of my mouth. “There we go. Get them nice and wet.”

Riley pulls them out. Still kneeling between my spread legs, he moves his arm down and glides those fingers through my pussy. I arch into his touch. Pant his name when he slips one finger, then the other inside me, stretching me.

I’m drenched, so his fingers move in and out of me easily. He removes his fingers, swirling that moisture over my clit. I see stars.

That’s when his fingers move lower.

Lower still, bringing moisture with them as they whisper against my hole.

My body pulses, even as a frisson of anxiety erupts in my center.

Not only about trying something so . . . taboo. I’ve heard there’s some pain involved.

But also about having another first with Riley Dixon. I think I was already in love with him when we had sex for the first time ten years ago. Losing my virginity to him was the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. The best, because the sex was good.

The worst, because it was so good, I fell even harder. The kind of love you apparently never come back from, because here I am again—naked and aching for more—in Riley’s bed.

It’s the kind of love that can destroy you.

What if Riley destroying me isn’t the risk, though?

What if he’s not a distraction, but a direction? A gigantic neon arrow pointing me in the direction I want to go?

I gasp at the feeling of pressure when Riley presses his blunt fingertip more firmly against my rim. My pussy flutters. I want to come, but I also want to wait, like Riley asked me to. See if he’s right when he says how incredible it’ll feel if I hold off my climax until he’s inside me.

“Feel okay?”

“Yeah.” I close my eyes and try to breathe. “Just different. Keep going.”

His slick finger slips inside me the tiniest bit. My body lights up, a constellation of interconnected points of sensation. Lips, nipples. Clit. And now asshole too.

It’s an awakening of a place, a need, I wasn’t aware of until now.

“Keep going.”

Riley chuckles. “That’s my girl.” He pushes his finger farther. My breath catches. There’s a tiny burn as the pressure increases.

My clit is screaming for attention, but I bite my lip and try my best to stay focused.

I open my eyes and look down. Riley’s finger is halfway inside me. It’s lewd and a little scary and so fucking hot I feel another soaking wave move through my center. I rock my hips, making his finger sink a tiny bit more inside me.

“You’re so goddamn tight.” His voice is threadbare. “I cannot wait to fuck you here.”

He gently moves his finger out, then back in. Moving deeper with every thrust until he’s all the way inside me.

The intrusion feels . . . like more pressure. The kind that burns a little but is addictive.

He continues to thrust. I feel myself stretching around him. Taking him more deeply each time with less pressure, less pain.

“Please,” I pant. “I need to touch myself.”

“No, honey. But I will.”

He thumbs my clit, rolling the pad of his finger over my slick softness. My hips buck off the bed, pleasure coiling tightly inside my center.

I swivel my pelvis against his hand. Sensation rockets through me, and my head falls back on the pillow. He takes his time, his touch gentle but insistent. His patience with me, the care he’s putting into this, how safe that makes me feel—

My chest is mush, even as desire pounds through me.

“I think you’re ready,” he says. “That being said, this is going to feel weird and maybe uncomfortable at first. But I promise you’re going to like it. If you don’t, we stop. Talk to me, okay?”

I nod. “Okay.”

And then he’s standing and taking off his clothes, thunder rumbling as he pulls a bottle of lube out of the nightstand drawer. His dick is enormous, heavy with need. Even in the dark I can see him leaking, his pink head glistening with pearlescent liquid. He lubes himself up with quick, short strokes of his wrist. His abs ripple. Jaw ticks.

Riley puts his hands on my hips and tugs me farther down onto the bed so I’m on my back.

“Grab the backs of your knees. That’s it. Open up nice and wide for me, honey.”

The mix of arousal and anticipation in my blood has my heart beating so hard I’m shocked he can’t hear it. I do as he tells me, feeling exposed as I spread myself wider than I ever have before.

He looks at my slit and his nostrils flare. He climbs onto the bed, the mattress sighing beneath his weight, and fists himself. Then he guides his head to the apex of my pussy, massaging my clit. I arch my back, eager for that kind of touch, of pressure. Then he notches himself at my entrance and, covering my body with his, leans down and kisses me at the same moment he sinks to the hilt inside my pussy.

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