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Her eyes are imploring. Like she’s begging me to understand.
I do.
And that’s what kills me. The fact that she’s right.
What if I’m right too, though?
I glide my free hand to her throat. “I’ll wait, long as you need. But I’m all in, Lu. You’re everything I ever wanted. Even at eighteen, I knew what we had was something special. Bein’ with you this week drove that point home. My cards are on the table. You just gotta decide when you’re ready to show me yours.”
“Give me time,” she whispers.
I nod. “I said I’d wait. But if I’m honest, I’m worried you’re going to get your head turned back in Charlotte. Not by other guys. But by the notion of how you think your life should look, all perfect and shiny. That’s not who you are, and I’d hate to see you take a step backward.”
She brings her eyebrows together. “The pressure to be perfect is real, I’m not going to lie. But just abandoning my life there seems like the coward’s way out. If I’m going to set it all on fire, I want to be there to watch it burn. Face the wreckage so I can make sense out of it, and hopefully do better next time around.”
My turn to swallow.
Of course Lu wouldn’t take the easy way out.
Of course she’d start over with the integrity that was missing from her previous life.
I’m pierced by a searing ache. As if I couldn’t love this woman more.
My hand shakes as I move it from her throat to her face.
“Let me be your next time,” I say hoarsely.
Let me be your forever.
twenty-seven
Lu
Mixed Up
Riley leans in and kisses me.
Next thing I know he’s scooping me into his arms, sinking his teeth into my shoulder as he carries me to his bedroom.
The desire that’s simmered between my legs all night long bursts to vibrant, almost painful life. He sets me on my feet in the darkness. Plunders my mouth and unzips my dress. It falls to the floor easily, leaving me in my bra and thong. We reach for my bra at the same time, laughing when our fingers collide on my back.
He unhooks the bra, tosses it aside.
Then his hands are all over me. Riley’s a touchy-feely guy, so that’s nothing new. But the reverent way they move over my skin as he sinks to his knees? How they linger on every plane, trace the length of every curve, like he’s memorizing my shape?
That is new.
Then he’s curling his fingers into my thong and pulling it down. He presses a trail of kisses down my breasts and belly, my pussy igniting at the tender way he sucks my nipples into his mouth before biting at the skin along my hip bones.
The ache inside me pounds when he noses my slit, taking a deep inhale. He puts his hands on my thighs and leans in to kiss me. His tongue slips between my legs, and I gasp at the full-body shudder that moves through my body when he circles my clit.
My eyes are adjusting to the dark, because I see his when they flick to my face. “I’m gonna miss how you taste, Legs. You’re always so wet for me.”
My heart wells with feeling. Eyes well with tears.
I know I’m doing the right thing by going back to Charlotte. I know I’m making the right choice by asking Riley for time.
But knowing I have to leave Bald Head behind, even for a week, a month, still hurts.
What the hell else can I do? I’m an adult now, with adult responsibilities I can’t fall down on. I can’t just run off into the sunset with Riley Dixon. Not without disappointing a whole lot of people, myself included.
If he and I are meant to be, it’ll work out.
So I close my eyes and let my head fall back as Riley licks my pussy exactly how I like it. When his hand finds my ass, giving it a squeeze before his fingers move down the length of my crease, my blood jumps.
No shame.
No judgement.
Only roaring pleasure as he sucks on my clit at the same moment he feathers a fingertip over my rim.
There’s nothing I can’t do with this man.
Nothing forbidden, which means I can ask for anything I want.
I can be who I am.
“You’re so good,” I manage. “You’re too good at this, Riley. But I think I—”
“Wanna come on my dick.” He presses one last kiss to my pussy before pulling away. “I know you like that best.”
Fuck him, knowing me so well.
Fuck him for making this so good. He’s doing it on purpose, showing off, taking his time, because he knows I’m becoming addicted to how hard and how often he makes me come.
I hate him.
I adore him.
I want him naked, right now.
I grab the collar of his shirt and pull him to his feet.
