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Ten years later and my body still responds, an ache blooming in my center at the memory of his Coppertone-scented skin.
Two days later, I was on that fateful ferry back to the mainland when Riley’s text came through.
Riley Dixon
Hey. Not sure how to tell you this, but there’s someone else. This summer’s been great but I think it’s best if we both move on. Good luck at Wake
It didn’t make sense at the time—the fact that he texted instead of called, how curt and impersonal the message was, the cheating—but it does now.
Perfect, awful sense.
Riley didn’t break up with me because we were “from different worlds.”
He did it because my grandfather forced him to break up with me.
Even better? Or worse, I guess? Riley could’ve made Pa look like the grade-A asshole he was by telling me what went down between them.
Instead, he took the high road. Yes, he didn’t tell me the whole truth last week about his reasons for breaking my heart. But he did spare the somewhat rosy memory I have of my grandfather. He spared Pa’s reputation too.
Basically, Riley did Pa a solid he definitely doesn’t deserve. All because Riley wanted to protect my feelings and my family.
My family, the one that threatened the survival of his.
Lord above.
My eyes burn so badly I have to close them. I cover my mouth with my hand and sob silently into my palm, tears streaking down my face and over my fingers.
“Why do you think I’ve stayed so busy over the years?” I hear the ice clink against Granny’s glass. “Your grandfather was . . . well. We’ll call him a piece of work.”
“He didn’t think Riley deserved me?” I struggle to catch my breath. “Why not?”
“Your grandfather was old school, sugar. Riley wasn’t the type of boy he wanted you to end up with.”
No, Patrick was. And we all know what a dickhead he turned out to be.
“That’s horrible. And sexist. And just . . . God, it’s plain ugly, Granny. And all the while you knew. You knew and you didn’t tell me. That hurts. All the pain this caused . . . to think how senseless it was, how easily it could’ve been avoided if you’d stepped in . . .”
She presses a tissue into my hand. “There’s nothing I can say to make up for that. I was wrong not to tell you, sugar. But God as my witness, I thought you were over Riley. You say you were careful—I know you were, because I had no idea the two of y’all were an item in the first place until Jimmy told me! And you never mentioned him again after that summer. Not once. I sincerely believed you’d moved on. You’d gone off to college, and you were so busy with your life there. Then you met Patrick, and everything seemed to be falling into place for you. I didn’t want to meddle.”
“You could’ve asked me about Riley.”
“I could have done a lot of things differently. But your Pa, he never let anyone forget he was the man of the house. I was such a little mouse around him.” Granny pauses. I open my eyes to see her looking intently at me. “I see now how that hurt everyone, even though I thought I was doing the right thing at the time.”
I manage a rueful smile. “But y’all were so perfect and shiny together. Married sixty years!”
Granny harrumphs. “And now you see it wasn’t so perfect after all.”
“Jesus, why doesn’t anyone talk about anything?”
“Because we’re all scared out of our goddamn minds, that’s why! The truth can be terrifying.”
“Apparently it will also set you free.”
Granny points her finger at me. “So go be free, sugar. I’m finally free to be me, and my only regret is I didn’t start doing it sooner.” She sighs. “I’m sorry, Lulu. Really and truly sorry.”
How do I process the fact that Granny fucking knew about this but didn’t say a word until now? Her betrayal is a knife through the heart.
I swallow. “I love you, Granny, but this is . . . all kinds of fucked up. I lost a decade of time with him. Riley. All because you kept secrets from me.”
“Don’t forget that you kept secrets of your own.”
“I had no choice!”
“What can I say?” She throws up the hand not holding her cocktail. “I made a terrible mistake. But lucky for all of us, you have a second chance. Take it, Lu.”
“So Pa didn’t approve of Riley, but all of a sudden you do?” I scoff. “Is that because he’s rich?”
Granny shakes her head. “It has nothing to do with money. I just want you to be happy. And you don’t look very happy being away from Riley.” She’s smoothing back my hair again. “You’re liable to fall right over, aren’t you?”
