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Who am I? I've relinquished some of the supervision of my daughter because I fell in love with a hot criminal?
I feel like such a child. Such a failure.
"Have you talked to Jason? He's not answering my text."
"No, I haven't talked to Jason, and you know how he is. He only texts when he feels like it." She scowls at the road in front of her.
"What's the matter?"
"What's the matter? You decided to date a man that I can't kill very easily," she says fiercely. "I'm racking my brain about who I might know, to see if I could call in a favor so that I can get some retribution for whatever that asshole did to make you cry. Because nobody makes my sister cry without consequences."
"This isn't an elementary school playground, Sarah," I say.
"No, the stakes are much higher. I know that. But it still doesn't mean that I don't care about you, that I wouldn’t protect you no matter who hurts you." She scowls.
I text Jason again, and again, and again. Now I'm starting to panic.
"He probably has stupid surveillance cameras up in Jason's house, too."
"What? Who? What are you talking about?"
"Ricco. Who else would I be talking about?"
She throws up her hands, and then slams them back down on the steering wheel. "How am I supposed to know? I don’t know, Dani. Oh my God, this is what dating a criminal’s like!”
And then I realize she's right. I hardly told her anything about my trip to Tuscany, she doesn't really know how I feel about Ricco. And I haven’t even told her the worst of it yet.
I wait until we're stopped at a red light so she doesn't crash the car.
"He had video surveillance cameras put up in my studio."
She gasps. “He did not. Are you serious?"
"Yep. Said it was for my own good."
"Is that why you're crying? Because even though that's an asshole thing to do, and super creepy, I could see it being kind of like a normal thing for a mobster?" She cringes. "Sorry, I'm not trying to make excuses for him. I just…" She shakes her head.
I need to hear what she needs to say before I tell her the rest. "What were you going to say?"
"Well, I just… You deserve someone who takes care of you. You deserve someone who takes fantastic care of you, who spoils you, who makes you smile and laugh and blush, and do all those things. I hated Nick, but I know that you guys had a kid together. So, I'm just wondering, if the only thing that's holding you back from Ricco is the knowledge that he put up some stupid video surveillance cameras, probably for your own good, then maybe you can…"
I try to breathe.
"He killed Nick, Sarah!"
Her face falls. She grips the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles turn white. She looks like she can't speak, and for my sister, that takes a lot.
I keep going.
"He wasn't stateside when Nick died. And like a dumbass I got distracted by cute little Ricco Montavio," I say, even while realizing how ridiculous that is. There's nothing cute or little about Ricco. "Now it’s turned out it was all a lie, and I should've known it was a lie. I would've picked up on the clues if I hadn’t been plastered when I was in Italy and his cousin mentioned something about him being here. And if I wasn't smitten with him."
"This is not your fault," she insists.
I shake my head. “I know, but… I still feel like I shouldn’t have been so stupid.” I tell her everything I know. "He said it was an accident. He said that Nick fell and hit his head, and he died. Of course, any other normal person would have faced manslaughter charges. But he's a Montavio," I say cynically. "He's above the law. His brother Sergio waved his magic mobster wand and made it all go away, I guess."
Sarah shakes her head. "Have you ever really gotten the answer to why Nick was outside of Bella Notte to begin with?"
“He wanted to fuck some hot little thing," I say to her, exasperated. "Why else would someone go to a sex club?"
"Babe," she says consolingly, reaching her hand out to me. I push it away. I don't want condolences right now.
All I know is that the man that I'm in love with…" My voice chokes because I don't know if that can still be true knowing what I know now. "Killed my daughter’s dad. How do I get over that?"
She doesn't answer. "I don't know, honey. I don't."
We pull up to Jason's house, and it's strangely dark. I'm trying not to go into panic mode, knowing that my emotions are on tenterhooks right now.
They're fine, I tell myself. They're fine.
"Why are there no lights on in the house?" Sarah says. She gives me a sidelong look. "Is it me, or do you feel like we're in a movie right now?"
