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“What kind of miracle does your mum need?”
He swallowed. He didn’t want to tell her. Yet he somehow found himself explaining about his mom, about the doctor’s assessment earlier this week, which he’d communicated to his brothers who’d seemed as stunned as he was about the diagnosis of possible early-onset dementia.
“We’ll need to do some testing, but the signs seem to indicate something of that nature.”
Memory loss, confusion, withdrawing from family and friends, changes in behavior were all classic symptoms. The doctor had strongly encouraged more thorough testing, but the thought of pathology tests, neurological exams, brain imaging, and psychiatric assessments, and all the time and money that would involve was enough to do his head in. His visit to the bank to see if there was some way to fund this had instead revealed things were even worse than he’d imagined. And now he had to somehow explain it to Ellie and his brothers.
Her eyes rounded, soft green pools of compassion. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”
“The doc was saying she’ll likely need a full-time carer soon, or be placed in a facility, but when the bank refuses a loan, well, what can you do?”
She bit her lip, and he was possessed with a sudden savage tug to know her kiss. Which was exactly why he shouldn’t be with her. Because, as the bank had proved, he couldn’t be trusted with precious things. He seemed to have a way of hurting them or making things worse. And he got the sense that this woman needed something good, someone good, someone in her life who wouldn’t leave permanent bruises on her soul like the scar at her throat that her scarf didn’t fully hide.
“Can I get you folks anything else?” Marlene asked.
He glanced at Lexi. She shook her head, the slight wrinkle in her brow saying she was still worried about him. He turned to the waitress. “We’re fine thanks, Marlene.”
She nodded and pushed a docket onto the table. He reached for it, but Lexi was faster. “My treat, remember?”
He shook his head, gesturing for the docket, but she refused to hand it over. “You know that goes against every last fiber in my being.”
“Tough.”
A chuckle escaped despite himself. Okay, try as he might, he couldn’t help but like this girl. She smiled at him then slid from the booth and paid. And sure, a tiny part of him writhed at the fact a woman was paying for his coffee, but another part didn’t care. The fact that this woman,thiswoman, seemed to care enough to want to spend time with him made his insides feel like they’d turned to mush. Which wasn’t good. Not when the bank had confirmed exactly why he couldn’t even dream about getting serious with a girl. Not when the only future he could offer was none at all.
Lexi sashayed back to him, and he couldn’t help but notice the way her jeans clung to her hips and legs. “Ready to go?”
He’d been ready to leave town the second Millie at the bank had said no. He nodded, sliding from the booth and following her to the door. He pushed it open, allowing her to walk first, then followed, even as he started focusing on what he’d now need to do. Probably another family consult—Mom’s issues were bigger than him—then he’d have to eat some humble pie and admit what a spectacular failure he’d made of everything. Then he’d need to start selling: Brutus, cattle, land. He’d need to call the realtor, see what their options were. Maybe Liam would buy some. He’d always said the Reilly land would be perfect for a solar farm. And it would be—if the owner could afford to pay for the infrastructure. Which clearly Jackson could not.
He paused as he grew aware that Lexi was saying something to him. “Sorry, could you repeat that? I was a million miles away.”
“I was wondering if maybe you have another few spare minutes.”
He winced. He wanted—needed—to get back, and the longer he stood here with her, the more tongues would wag. Even now he could see old Rhonda Ingalls watching them from across the street. No doubt the gossip lines would be running hot tonight.
“I’m real sorry, but I have to get back to the ranch. I’ve got a million things to do, and I don’t know how to get it done.”
Animation drained from her face, and she nodded. He felt like a heel, but exploring things with her was only gonna get them both hurt. Besides, she was going to return to Australia one day. Then where would he be? Left here, picking up the pieces of a broken heart.
But at the sad wash over her features his resolve crumbled. “What was it?”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll let you go.”
He swallowed, and somehow managed a farewell before pivoting and walking to his truck. He didn’t like the finality contained in those words. But then he hadn’t liked the words of many people in recent times. Like the vet. Like the doctor. Like the bank manager.
Like the realization that he might have to sell the ranch to save his mom.
CHAPTEREIGHT
She should’ve told him. She watched the cowboy walk away, her heart berating her for losing courage. How hard was it to say what was on her mind? But ever since his friend-zoning last week, she didn’t want to press into his space and demand things he clearly didn’t want to give. But the thought that she might hold one of the pieces of his puzzle nagged at her, chasing her to bed, chasing her to sleep, chasing through her dreams.
The next day, she again helped her mother and Sasha, the college cook, who had now returned from vacation. But the feeling that her role here was superfluous to the college needs seemed to follow her around every painted corner. When she was still tossing and turning at two in the morning, she’d finally prayed, committing it to God, asking Him to open the right doors at the right time, if this was indeed the right thing to do.
“Lexi?” her mother called. “Can you come in here, please?”
“Sure.”
She found her mother in the great room, eyeing a painting above the grand fireplace. “What do you think? Is it a little too 1980s?”
