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The light in Ellie’s face faded, her eyes sobering with sympathy. “I’m sorry. Didn’t she tell you?”
“Tell me what?” His heart rattled, a cage of fear.
“She’s gone.”
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
It was quite possible Lexi’s brain was going to melt out of her ears. She studied the screen, stifling the inclination to scream, and rubbed her weary eyes. The dry-as-dust facts and online forms required greater patience than she had, but it was the only way to get this sorted and get out of here. She’d already spent far too long hiding, wishing she could be done without further explanations, without further tears. So when Ellie’s comment yesterday had been followed by that phone call, she took it as a sign from God to get away, clear her head, and try to make sense of things, once and for all. She’d spent most of last night, headphones in, listening to music as she cleared the clutter from her room, hoping it would help bring a sense of order to her mind.
But trying to make sense of the present—let alone the future—was next to impossible when Jackson’s words kept ricocheting around her heart. Did he really think her so judgmental that she was spouting sermons at him? She wasn’t. Well, she hadn’t tried to be. Maybe it was a natural side effect of living with Bible teachers for parents.
A knock preceded her mother opening the office door. “Honey? Are you almost done?”
“I’ll be a little while longer. Sorry.”
“Okay. Well, just so you know, we’re starting our first session soon. If you finish before we’re done, please come and say hello before you say goodbye. Oh, you know what I mean.”
Lexi smiled. She knew exactly what her mother meant. Maybe it was part of the secret language all families shared. She’d seen the same earlier, when Ellie and her mom had been talking, sharing family anecdotes with Ellie starting stories her mother took over and finished. Ellie had insisted on caring for her mother so Lexi could be released today.
“Go. You deserve it. And I’ll take great pleasure in letting my brother know you’re not here,” Ellie had said.
“Don’t be mean to him.”
“After he was mean to you? Don’t spoil a sister’s fun.”
“He’s been under pressure,” Lexi had said.
“So have you. So go. Do what you need to do. And don’t come back until you’re ready.”
Ellie had let Lexi use her car, and she’d had fun negotiating the roads, thankful to park with only the slightest scrape of the tire against the gutter. After collecting a coffee and some sweet treats from the bakery, she’d made her way to the college, where she’d counted on being able to use her mother’s small office. More importantly, her computer.
But the past two hours had caused more strain in her brain than she remembered since sitting her nursing exams all those years ago. Surely things hadn’t changed so much these days?
A ping alerted her to an email notification. She was required to attend the nearest State Police command for a fingerprint test. Her chest bumped. This was really going to happen.
She downed the last of the coffee, screwing up her nose at the bitter taste, and booked a time, then refocused on the online forms, making notes as she went. So much to do, but so much she wanted to do. Meant to do.
Finally she submitted the last email request, closed the laptop, and pushed away from the desk. Her head spun, the officialese having officially fried her brain cells. She needed a walk, a run, a swim, a ride, anything. She needed to breathe fresh air and make the most of the time she had here before duty called. And duty would call. She was sure.
Speaking of …
She flicked on her phone and saw eight missed calls. Three text messages. An email, and another message sent via social media. Tears blurred her eyes, but she didn’t listen to or read a single word. She couldn’t, not until she’d worked out the last bit of hurt from her heart.
Her phone emitted another buzz, and she stared at the screen, thumb hovering to answer. But she placed it down, taking temptation away, and then tossed the phone in her bag and went to find her mother.
The crowd of summer Bible school students looked all fresh-faced and excited. She noticed a few dropped-jaw gawks as she passed, but their opinions meant nothing. She’d spent long enough hiding, wondering what people might think of her, what people might say. So they’d never seen a scarred throat before. They had now. Big deal.
Her mother’s voice drifted from the great room while Lexi took the second door that led into the back of the room. Her mother was out the front, outlining the program for the next two weeks, to excitement and nervous titters. Lexi smiled. It was hard to believe she had once been like that, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Now she felt more bruised and wearied, but that was probably the effect of a sleepless night and questions, endless questions, that had plagued her.
Her mother’s spiel soon ended. She beckoned for someone else to take the stage, then joined Lexi in moving out of the room.
“So you’re all done now?” she asked Lexi, brushing some of Lexi’s hair from her brow in a tender way that reminded her of when Jackson had done the same.
She blinked away moisture and nodded. “Thanks so much for letting me use your room. It was good to be able to concentrate here.”
“Any time, darling. You know you’re always welcome. There’s always room, no matter how many people are here.”
“Thanks, Mum.” She wrapped her mother in a hug, drawing in the scent of White Linen as she did so.
