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“I don’t know,” I finally said. “Things are, uh, I guess, feeling complicated with Quinn. I’m worried I might’ve screwed things up.”
“Don’t count yourself out,” Blake said, his gaze entirely serious as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. “You’re more than you give yourself credit for. We all have our reasons for being gun-shy about relationships. I’m starting to realize maybe what we all went through only made us stronger. Everybody’s got something to carry. I said it before, and I’ll say it again: even when you were swearing up and down there would never be anything between you and Quinn, I knew you’d make a good couple. Really good. I just think you need to give yourself a chance, as much as her.”
His words slammed into me so hard it felt as if he’d thumped me right in the chest. The sensation reverberated in my solar plexus.
Lia approached the table, stopping beside me. “You first,” she said, holding the plate aloft.
“Ooh, I’m the lucky one today.”
Blake chuckled. “How come I’m not first?” he teased.
“Because you didn’t know where the stand mixer was,” Lia replied with a sly grin.
As soon as I took a cookie off the plate, she rounded the table to Blake. He curled his arms around her shoulders, hugging her close as he dropped a kiss on top of her head. “It’s a good thing Kenan knew where that mixer was. Now we know for the future.”
“Can we get one at home?” Lia asked.
Blake chuckled as he lifted a cookie off. “Definitely. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that sooner.”
“Well, you’re not a chef like Mom,” she pointed out.
I took a bite of the cookie. It was warm, and the texture was just perfect. I let out a moan, chewing before offering, “These are amazing, Lia. You take after your mom.”
Fiona happened to walk into the kitchen, glancing over at the table. “I’m not that great at baking. I’m decent, but it’s definitely not my strength.”
“I’m going to be the baker in the family,” Lia announced.
There was a sense of comfort and warmth whenever I was with my siblings. I wondered if I wanted that for myself. The tricky thing was, if I could imagine it with anyone, it would be with Quinn.
Now, I just had to convince her.
ChapterThirty
QUINN
I idly studied the medication bottle, contemplating when I wanted to start taking them. After that, I walked into my kitchen, sliding my hips onto a stool by the counter and tapping my phone screen. I had a list of profiles to review, potential mystery fathers for a potential mystery child-to-be.
Every time I logged in to the system to review these, I would only read for a few minutes before logging out, which was exactly what happened again.
“Fuck you, Kenan,” I whispered.
This was all his fault. He’d gone and proposed I give him a chance to be the father. Now, he made me want things I’d already let go of. It seemed like such a high bar to find happily ever after with some guy who wasn’t a jerk, some guy where it didn’t mean sex was a total letdown. I knew Kenan had it in him to be an amazing father, but I didn’t think he believed it, so it wouldn’t come to be.
The worst part of it all was I loved him. It terrified me because it would be easier to imagine doing this parenting thing with him just as friends because then I wouldn’t expect more. I wouldn’t want more.
I set my phone down, leaning my face into my hands and letting out a groan. My eyes pricked with tears, but I refused to give in to them. I wasn’t going to get through this by crying over it.
I’d walked into this mess myself. I could walk myself out of it. I straightened and let my hands fall to the counter.
Now, I wanted more. I wanted Kenan and the whole package.
ChapterThirty-One
QUINN
Wednesday rolled around, and Kenan texted me.
Kenan:Locals’ night at the winery tonight?
