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My brain shifts into a higher gear as I reminisce out loud. "My period is like a Swiss watch and should arrive around the time we go back home."
He shrugs. "Oh, okay."
I swallow as my mind drifts to the other possibility.Pregnant?My heart flutters, not from fear, but from pure excitement. "Guess we will have to wait and see."
We’re both quiet and in thought. Cole’s eyes dart from my stomach to my breasts before connecting with me. He stands up and holds out his hand. "Let’s swim?" I take it and rise to my feet. With our fingers intertwined and my heart filled with a new longing, we walk to the water.
I stareat myself in the bathroom mirror. Ever since the throwing up on the beach and Cole asking if there was a possibility that I was expecting, my brain is working overtime, evoking a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions. Especially now that I’m a day late.But many women are late, and everyone throws up sometimes. It doesn’t mean you’re pregnant. But what if I am? I drank champagne on the plane. What if that hurt the baby?My hands get clammy, going over other possibilities. My parents had a troublesome time getting pregnant.What if we have the same or worse? What if I can’t carry a baby?I place my hand on the vanity and lower my head as my spinning mind causes a wave of dizziness.
"Babe?" Cole’s voice travels from outside the bathroom. "Is everything okay?"
When I don’t answer, he comes in, stops behind me, and places his warm hands on my shoulders. "What’s wrong?"
Tears break free, and I mumble through my sobs. "What if I can’t get pregnant? What if my body can’t carry a baby? Will you leave me?" I turn and press my face against his chest and let my tears stain the smooth fabric.
Two strong arms wrap themselves around me. "Alex, sweetheart. Where is this coming from?" My overproductive tear ducts keep flowing, and Cole holds me, caressing my back to calm my outburst. After what feels like forever, my thoughts settle and my waterworks stop.
"Let’s sit," my calm husband says, taking my hand and guiding me to the bed where he sits and places me on his lap. "Did your period start? Is that why you’re upset?"
I shake my head, and I sense him stiffening for a moment. Not wanting him to break his brain, I explain. "I’m late. My cycle should have begun yesterday."
"Oh."
We both stay quiet. "Should we get a test?" he asks.
When my chin trembles, he places two fingers underneath and lifts it. "Alex. What's going on in your head?"
My eyes travel upward until they're gazing into his calming irises. "I'm freaking out."
"About?"
I bite my lip. "I want to be pregnant. But what if we take a test, and I'm not?"
"Then it tells us we should keep trying. I don't mind trying," he says, tickling my side.
I slap his chest, and after a long sigh, I touch his cheek. "My mom had a tough time getting pregnant. What if I have the same? What if—"
Cole stops me by placing his lips on mine, and it relaxes me. When he pulls back, he puts his forehead against mine. "Let's not worry about something that isn't on the radar yet. Let's start at step one. That means you are getting dressed, and when you're ready, we're going to buy a pregnancy test."
I peck his lips. "Thank you, but you have a business meeting this morning."
"Oh, I'll handle that if you get dressed."
I wrap my arms around him and hug him tight. "I love you."
He places a kiss on my temple. "I love you too. Now let's go."
I slide off his lap and make my way to the closet. When he walks out of the room, I slip into my comfortable, dark brown, knee-length skirt and vanilla shirt. I place my feet into a pair of flat shoes, pull my hair up into a ponytail, and after applying a soft brown-red lipstick, I make my way out. Once I'm in the kitchen, Cole hands me a cup of tea in a takeaway cup and grabs his car keys. "Let's go."
I grin as he makes his way to the front door with long strides.Guess his patience has gone up in smoke.I follow him and lick my lips as I watch his buns of steel move to the door.
Focus, Alisha. Pull your head out of the fantastic sexy gutter.
My knee bounceswhile a few single tones float through the air as I press onto the keys of the Bösendorfer. Cole's hand touches my leg. "Five minutes have passed. Who's going to check?"
I swallow and draw my tongue over my dry lips. I took the pregnancy test the moment we came home. Even bought three more, just in case.
"You do it," I whisper.
