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COLE
I peekthrough the window and find my fear of being the worst father in history pipe down as I see my daughter sitting on the couch watching TV. Her blonde hair is up in a ponytail, and as she laughs, her blue eyes twinkle with an intensity that could light up a city block.
When Alisha told me cooking together could change our relationship, I was skeptical, but seven days later, I have to admit she was right. Samantha opened up the day we started cooking. She answered questions about her life in Los Angeles and told us she disliked high school because she got bullied there. We even laughed and teased each other with funny things, and at the end of the day, I found myself looking forward to the next day. A big thanks for this shift goes to Miss Firecracker, whose sparkly personality helped Samantha feel more at home and who taught me to have a normal conversation with a teenager.
Nervousness awakens, and I rub the back of my neck as I stroll inside, knowing what sensitive topic I have to address. Standing in the doorway, I study Samantha, who has her feet up on the couch, her hands around her legs, and her head resting on her knees as she watches TV.
"Samantha, can we talk?" I ask while taking a seat beside her.
With hesitance in her action, she grabs the remote control and mutes the sound on the television.
"Is something wrong?" she asks.
"I received a phone call from Los Angeles this morning, and it concerns your mom."
Her eyes become watery. "Your mom's ashes arrived here in Boston."
Her breath hitches, and her pupils dilate. "Why? Who did that?"
I run my fingers along my jaw while answering, "I've arranged for them to be transferred here. This morning, I got the call. And I..."
A bomb of emotions explodes in my chest as Samantha leans forward and wraps her arms around my neck. I place my hands on her back and return the hug. This is the first time we have hugged, and it feels good. Her small frame shutters in my arms, and my heart opens as she bursts into tears.
"Thank you, Cole," she whispers between her sobs. "I miss her so much."
"That’s why I did this. I thought you might want her here. This way you can visit her whenever you feel like it."
She nods.
We stay in this embrace, and as my palms caress her back, my soul connects on a deeper level with hers, because I understand what she's going through. The serious, introverted side of my personality grew stronger after my father's passing.
Samantha sits up straight, and after wiping the remaining tears from her eyes, she fiddles with her fingers.
"You want to ask me something, don't you?" I say in a mild voice. "I realize I may not always look approachable, but I am. Especially for you, Samantha."
"Even for the lady stuff?" she adds with a slight grin.
I clear my throat. "Okay, you've got me there. Maybe not for everything."
She chuckles. "How did you meet my mom?"A gentle flush of pink colors her cheeks.
I hold my breath for a moment as I ponder how to answer this delicate question. Samantha's eyes lower as she awaits my reply.
Honesty has worked the best so far, so...
"I was seventeen when my dad died, and I struggled at lot to deal with it. I had just finished highschool, and needed a break. So when an old friend of my father’s asked me if I wanted to work and help out at his firm in Los Angeles, I said yes. That's where I met your mom. She was a server in a diner where I'd go during my lunch breaks."
Her lips curl up as she listens. "She told me you were younger than her. Is that true?"
I chuckle. "Yeah, she was three years older than me, but thanks to my height and posture, people assumed I was older."
"Did you love her?"
I let out a long sigh.
"The truth, please," she whispers.
I scratch my forehead. "I loved your mother. She was my first real love, but eight months after we started dating, I got accepted to college back in Boston. She wanted me to pursue my dreams and also get into law school herself. I mean, she had been working for years to be able to do it. So, she told me to go back, and promised we would make it work… But then, three months later, she stopped returning my calls and messages, until she called me one day to break up." As I tell Samantha this, memories I had buried deep down rush to my mind. Jessica didn't give me any explanations, just said she couldn't do the long distance relationship anymore. I tried to convince her otherwise, but she wouldn't listen. Maybe that's part of the reason why I've never been able to open up like that again. Too much to process at the same time for such a young boy.Who would have thought the real reason was that she was pregnant?"So… after everything I had gone through with my father and with how hard I had worked to get into this college, I decided to focus my attention on me and my education."
