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"Will you stay with me tonight, Alex?" he whispers.
When I nod, he takes my hand and guides me to his bed. After I lie down, he follows, and my heart cries when he places his head on my stomach and snakes his arm around my waist. He lets out a deep sigh when I roam my fingers through his hair while caressing his neck and shoulders with my other hand. I keep on stroking, and after a while, his breathing becomes even and deep—he's asleep. I wiggle to change my position, but he tightens the grip around my waist, making it impossible to move. I grin. Guess we're staying in this position, and that's more than fine with me.
23
COLE
The delicious,round, sweet scent my olfactory receptors register as I wake up makes me part my eyelids. Heat radiates through my chest at the sight of Alisha lying next to me. Her golden hair flows along her angelic face, while her long lashes kiss her cheeks. I gaze at her full lips. Just staring at them awakens many sinful thoughts, and my cock goes rock hard in a split second. But the physical reaction stops when I remember how we ended up here.
Yesterday was a nightmare, a stomach-turning rollercoaster, to say the least. The visit from my mother set everything in motion. Although I'm pleased with her reaction to Samantha, her wanting to interfere with Samantha’s school and mentioning my father and his death triggered the demons.
My eyes dart to the door that leads to the past. It's still open.
I roll out of bed and walk to the door. On the threshold, I stop. I can't believe I told her everything. No one except me has ever entered this room. Nobody knows about this room—not even my two best friends.
When I met Nick and Brian, they didn't know my past, and that felt good. I told them my father died from a heart attack, but that's all I ever told them, and they respected that. But with Alisha, everything is different. This woman makes me feel, and want things that are so strange to me. It's confusing. The physical pain I encountered when she threatened to end our contract if I didn't open up puzzles me. The emptiness and hollow feelings that appeared when she and Samantha left were awful. These two women have become crucial to this bachelor's sanity.
I shake my hands and stretch and bend my fingers as the familiar tingle emerges when my eyes wander over the cover and legs of my black Bösendorfer. My ten digits remember how it feels and they ache. Ache to do what they loved most.
Do I miss it? Yes, it's like a physical pull I sense all the time. But when I'm close to sitting down and playing, my father's lifeless face pops up in my head, and it reminds me: I don't deserve to enjoy it—not playing is the punishment I deserve. I close the door and focus my attention back on the gorgeous woman lying in my bed. The way she listened to me without judgment was remarkable, and when she brushed and caressed me while lying with me on the bed, it soothed the excruciating inner pain.
Alex moves and snuggles her face into my blue jacket as if she's inhaling my scent—she looks adorable.
The sound of walking footsteps tells me Samantha is awake. I stroll to the kitchen to find her texting with a mysterious grin on her face. Her hair is up in a ponytail as usual, and her school bag is lying open on the kitchen table.
"Good morning. Who are you texting?" I ask.
Samantha jumps up, and the blush that appears on her cheeks makes me squint my eyes. "J-Just a friend. Good morning," she says, while shifting her phone in the back pocket of her black jeans.
"Did you talk to Alisha last night?"
"Yes, I did."
Samantha keeps staring at me with a strange gaze, and I feel slightly uncomfortable knowing Alex is lying in my bed. I stroll to the coffee machine, but I can sense Samantha's eyes following me.
"Can I ask you something about your father?" she asks as I reach for a coffee cup.
I freeze. "What do you want to ask?" I say, lowering my hands and turning to see her fumbling with her shirt. I take hold of the counter behind me. Her eyes contact mine for a split second before darting away.
"Uh, is it true that my eyes resemble those of my grandfather?"
I let out a long breath and answer with a quick nod. "Yeah, you've got the same light blue color as him."
Her teeth sink into her bottom lip. "Do you miss him?"
My heart rate skyrockets. "Yes. But it has been a long time since he passed."
"So the pain of missing them won't lessen?"
My heart breaks, hearing the despair in her voice. The months after my father died, I experienced an emptiness that never healed, and my chest aches, considering how she might experience the same.
"You'll always miss them, but the intensity will lessen, Sam, I promise."
When I notice her watery eyes, I walk over and hug her. Her arms wrap around my waist. I haven't had many warm hugs from my mother after my father's death. She was mourning herself and hadn't had it in her to comfort me. So, if I can help Sam by being here for her and hugging her from time to time, I'll do that. It feels nice.
"I miss her laugh and her voice saying my name," she whispers against my chest. "What if..." She stops talking and swallows.
I hug her tighter. "You'll never forget her, Sam. And it's okay if there are times you don't think about her. It doesn't mean you love her less. It's a simple part of moving on. And this may sound cliche, but it's true. They will always live in your heart. Your mom doesn't want you to stop living just because she's not here to experience it with you. She'll always be with you, looking over your shoulder, telling you she loves you no matter what."
