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My heart twists in my chest like a rope burning against my ribs at the wordour, and before I can even react, the glass slips out of my hand and shatters into pieces on the tiled floor.
“Shit,” I say.
I reach down to grab something to help clean up, but Brian moves faster than lightning, his muscles tensing as he scoops up shards of broken glass and throws them in the trash can. Warmth blooms in my chest at this action and despite myself, I blush in embarrassment when staring at his moving muscles unleashes feelings of arousal—a reaction caused by these infernal hormones that have been running wild throughout my body lately. If only I could hide away under a blanket till this storm of emotions passes. As our eyes meet again, though, I find myself unable to look away; my mind an impenetrable tangle.
“Can we talk?” he asks.
I step back as my untrustworthy emotions rise to the surface when my mind fills in the options of what he might say next. “I can’t do this,” I whisper and turn away from him.
“Please, Brownie,” he says, his voice choked with emotion. A blast of memories blows through me as he uses this once so special nickname—one that used to fill me with so much joy. I turn back to face him.
“Please what? You said we were over, said I wasn’t enough, that you needed more than me. So there is nothing to talk about,” I scream at him, allowing my emotions free rein.
Tears form in his sapphire eyes. “I’m so sorry for all the awful things I said. If I could go back and take it all back, I would do it in a heartbeat,” he says, his voice raw with emotion.
My stomach churns as bitterness wells up inside me and I can’t help but blurt out my raw truth about this broken relationship. “Your words made me feel like a disposable good-time girl.”
A sob lodges in my throat, and I want to flee, but before I can move, his firm arms wrap around my midsection and keep me in place. Hot tears stream down my face as all the sorrow that had been weighing down my soul erupts like an untamed beast. Then the words tumble out of me faster than I can stop them. “I know you were grieving that day, but you still chose to tear my heart apart without a second thought.”
My legs give out and Brian lowers us both to the floor. With my head resting against his shirt, he gently rocks me back and forth while I let go of all this built-up misery. His embrace creates an impenetrable barrier around me, allowing me to surrender without fear of vanishing forever into an unrecognizable mess.
I can’t tell how much time passes, but when I’ve calmed down, his warm arms wrap around me and lift me off the ground. They carry me through the house. I’m too tired to protest further, so instead, I rest my head against his chest and breathe in his familiar scent. A wave of memories rushes over me and a sudden longing for things that used to be.
He takes us up the stairs and places me on a bed. I sink into its softness and turn onto my side, peeking through my lashes at him sitting next to me, hunched in defeat. I want to bridge the gap between us, to feel his warmth against mine once more. But if I reach out, what will it imply?
“My below-the-belt words of that night are inexcusable,” he says in a soft, upset tone. “They were an outburst of fear and panic, from what happened with my mom and what might happen in the future, so I lashed out instead of talking with you and sharing my deepest worries.”
When he stays quiet, I touch the back of his hand that’s lying on the covers with my fingertips. “Brian, I’m too tired to fight you or discuss what we do next. Could you—”
He lets out a defeated sigh. “Yeah, sure. I’ll go.”
I squeeze his hand. “No. Can you stay here with me?” I glance at the empty space beside me. Without uttering a single word, he removes his shoes and lies down on the bed, fully dressed, facing me. His presence in the place I have so often imagined him during my sleepless nights brings forth a flood of emotions. As my lips tremble, he strokes my cheek.
God, I’ve missed his touch so much.
Without words, the blue depths of his eyes communicate to me on a soul level; a tear glides down his face and I wipe it away with my finger before intertwining our digits. I rest our hands on the sheets and succumb to the exhaustion that has been nagging at me for days. I push my worries and doubts aside for now and let a sense of contentment and serenity envelop me and carry me away into a deep state of relaxation that I’ve been desperate to reach but could not find alone.
The sound of a voice startles me out of my sleep. I hold my breath, seeing Brian in bed beside me, mumbling something indecipherable and flailing his arm about. My eyes travel to the clock: 1:00 p.m.
“No, don’t leave me,” he says, the sadness in his voice clear.
I scoot closer to him and caress his face. “Brian,” I whisper. He’s so lost in his dreams that I can’t reach him.
“Please don’t go, Brownie,” he murmurs.
I lean in and whisper in his ear, “Brian, I’m here.”
His body twitches and his eyes shoot open. “Amanda?” he rasps, turning on his side and locking onto my gaze.
“Yeah, I’m here.”
The swirl of emotions in his eyes pierces my soul and when he relaxes back against the bed, drawing me closer, I give in and nestle up in my favorite spot, my head resting on his chest and one leg draped across him. He plants a kiss on top of my hair, stirring an indescribable feeling within me—like coming home. We both need this closeness, so I remain still and drift off for the second time.
“Amanda.” Brian’s voice is gentle but holds an unmistakable intensity beneath it. My heart flutters when I open my eyes and look into his. Glancing at the clock, I gasp in disbelief: - 7:30 p.m.? The realization that I slept all through the day hits me hard.
I heard him say something about how I needed rest. But as if on cue, panic sets in when I remember what day it is today.Venus.
I try to get out of bed, but Brian’s hand on my shoulder stops me. “Emma’s taking care of the store,” he says, his voice soothing my worries about work.
