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“Good.” She mirrors my position by placing her hands on her lap.
“I like you, Brian. However, what you said to my daughter was unacceptable...” Martha pauses for a moment and examines me with a raised eyebrow before continuing. “My family doesn’t know that I’m here right now, and I’d like it to stay that way.”
Dread and fear of what’s to come course through me, but I manage to give her a nod of understanding. When she sees this, she continues with a newfound intensity in her voice. “Do you know what happened to Amanda after the incident in this office?”
I shake my head, regretful.
Martha’s jaw tightens, her despair palpable. “Amanda just... broke,” she says, her voice a whisper, and my throat clenches at the tone. “For two weeks, Bella, Emma, Alisha, and I took shifts to be with her, making sure she ate and drank, trying to console her while she wept and lay bedridden.”
She pauses, then her voice cracks as she continues, “We thought she was doing better, but then days later, Nick showed up on our doorstep in tears. He told us he’d found Amanda curled up in a towel on her bathroom floor, completely broken.”
Every muscle in my body stiffens as the weight of this conversation settles over me. Because of my fear, I hurt Amanda and there’s no going back from that. Embarrassment floods through me and my eyes drop to my hands clenched in my lap.
I destroyed Amanda’s spirit. Just the visualization of her crying and lying in bed because of what I said and did creates a gaping wound in my chest cavity; it swallows any hint of joy I felt when I thought about going over to see her. The thudding of my heart within that ugly infected emotional wound is unbearable beyond words.What have I done?
“That’s why Nick sent her on a trip to that Italian island, hoping to help her get over you.” Martha pauses for a moment, as if considering her next words. “The grief of losing something you cherish is difficult to bear, yet it does not grant you permission to trample on the dreams of those who love you.”
I close my eyes and run my fingers through my now disheveled hair while a deep sigh from Martha reverberates in my ears.
“Before Amanda got on that plane, I told her that if someone you love hurts you badly, sometimes the only thing left to do is let them go, for good.”
My eyes fly open with shock as I process her words.
“From your reaction, I guess after some soul-searching, you’ve decided that you want another chance?” she inquires.
I swallow the lump in my throat and give her a barely perceptible nod.
Martha fixes me with an intensifying stare. “And what about her wish for children?’
With a voice nothing but a whisper, I say, “I want to ask her if she’s open to adopting.”
Martha’s piercing gaze holds mine as she rises. She reaches out to me, but instead of striking me like her son did, she cups my cheek with her small hand. “All I want is for Amanda and you to be happy—together or apart,” she says. Tears well up in her eyes. “If she decides to give you another chance, don’t break her heart again. Instead, let her love you and let your arms provide the safety and security she needs. Because from a mother’s perspective—she’s quite possibly the best thing that has ever happened to you.”
She turns to leave the room after one last ominous warning, “But if you do hurt her again, run. Because Nick giving you another black eye will be nothing compared to what I’ll do to you.”
With a cheerful flourish, she adds, “Have a wonderful day, Brian.”
When the door closes behind her, I fall back in my chair and stare at the ceiling as my gut twists with guilt. I deserve to drown in the pain that caused my goddess’s heart to shatter like glass. I’ve been a goddamn bastard. If my mom were here, she would have given me a good whack on the head while scowling at me and using my full birth name.
The last weeks have been the hardest in my life, but Martha’s visit makes it more than clear that I put the people I love and care about through hell with me.How could I think that pushing love out of my life would protect me from any more pain?It fucking made everything worse. This is no way of living. The thought of living without Amanda is like breathing the rest of my life through a straw. It’s surviving, not living. I did the worst thing to the best girl. I could never be with anyone else. She’s the only one I want, but I’m clueless about how to make it right. I need to talk to her, apologize for the hurtful words. My heart screams.What if she doesn’t want a future with me anymore? What if my hurtful words caused too much damage?
For minutes, I stare at the screen until a knock on the door snaps me back to the real world. “Come in,” I say.
The door opens, and Darius peeks inside. “Everything all right?”
I let out a long puff of air. “Yes and no.”
He enters and closes the door behind him. “Want to talk?”
“What’s there to say? Martha came by to hit me with the truth. She might be short, but she’s spirited when it comes to her family.”
“What did she say?” Darius asks.
Not wanting to go into details, I give the short version. “She gave me a choice. Fight for a second chance, or let Amanda go forever.”
Darius whistles. “Well, you’re Brian Fox. You’re resourceful, you like a challenge, and you’re not a quitter. So wake up that entrepreneurial brain of yours and find a way to win the woman of your heart back.”
I get up from my chair and walk to him. “Thanks for the confidence booster,” I say with a smirk.
