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“Let’s go to the store and get a few tests, so we are sure,” I offer, knowing that if they come out positive, we’ll be forced to face a whole other set of issues neither of us are ready to deal with.
Maria contemplates my words for a moment before finally letting out a soft sigh as she sits up in bed.
“Alright,” she says, getting up to throw something on so we can run to the pharmacy.
The short walk there from my apartment is filled with silence, both of us thinking about what a positive test result would mean for us.
Would she want to keep the child? Luckily, I’m in a financial position to support it. But can I actually do this? Do I have what it takes to be a dad?
Going into the pharmacy, we don’t waste any time and grab three of the most recognizable brands we see.
The walk back to the apartment is just as silent. Despite our fear of the results, we both want to know the truth.
When we get back into my apartment, Maria grabs the tests.
“I’ll go do these now.” She offers me a tense smile before going into the bathroom.
And I wait. Easily the longest ten minutes of my life. My mind races with what these results will mean for us, and my feelings are completely conflicted when it comes to what I want.
“Pregnant,” she says as she comes out of the bathroom, holding up the tests.
We stand there in silence, looking at the sticks, as if staring at them longer will change the results.
“So . . . what do you want to do?” I finally ask, knowing I plan on following Maria’s lead.
Her eyebrows raise at my question.
“Well,” Her lips quirk up, despite her shaky voice, “I’ve always wanted kids.”
Of course, she does. She’d make an amazing mother. I’ve already seen how she is in the classroom, and I can only imagine that when it comes to her own child, she’d be even better. If that is even possible.
“Well, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be there through it all,” I tell her, needing her to know how much I mean it. “Let’s set up a doctor’s appointment.”
“Okay,” she breathes out, her eyes still unfocused like she can’t believe what’s going on.
I step forward, pulling Maria into my arms. She doesn’t wrap hers around me, but I can feel her body pressing into mine, finding comfort in my presence.
I’m scared, terrified even, at the prospect of having a child. Telling everyone, preparing for its arrival, raising it for the rest of my life.
But despite my worries, I know that my number one job right now is to be here for Maria. This won’t be easy for her, and I plan to do everything in my power to help her through this.
And while I had no plans on raising a child at the moment, if I were to do it with anyone, it would be Maria.
CHAPTER22
MARIA
“And that's the heartbeat,” Dr. Owens breaks the silence. The rhythmicthump, thump, thumpresonates in the cozy office.
It's been a week since I took the home pregnancy test. We've both been treading cautiously, navigating our days with the weight of what we know. Tyler wears a look of wide-eyed curiosity, his face a canvas I can’t decipher. Is he joyful? Anxious? Elated? Apprehensive? The ambiguity of his thoughts only adds to my worries. But then again, I'm not even sure of my own feelings.
The notion of becoming a parent fills me with enthusiasm; it's a dream I've always held. Yet, beneath the excitement, there's an undercurrent of fear that overshadows my joy. I hadn't envisioned having a child at such a young age. I had assumed I'd have a few more years before taking on the responsibility for another life.
Yet, here I am, expecting a baby with a man ten years my senior, who also happens to work for my father. The situation feels bizarre.
“You're about seven weeks along,” Dr. Owens informs us, prompting me to guess when the conception might have happened.
A few instances come to mind, though, considering my luck, it wouldn't be surprising if it were the night I lost my virginity. Despite using protection, I wasn't on birth control at the time. The timeline aligns, making me feel like a living example from a high school health class.
