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“Easy to say. I feel like I’m about to walk into a room full of starving lions.”
He lifts his hand slowly, reaching forward to brush my hair behind my ear as his gaze falls to my lips. “Anything I can do to help?”
I feel my breath hitch, a warmth beginning to creep up my neck as I bite my bottom lip. I know exactly what he’s offering and I’m seconds away from crawling into his lap and begging him to make me feel better by whatever means necessary. I have wanted to tell him from the second he asked me to try to love him that I already do. Every night in his bed I’ve wanted to crawl into his arms, to beg him to make me feel loved, desired, but I’m plagued by fear.
What will everyone think when they find out we’re together? How do I explain that I’m in love with my late husband’s best friend? That nothing was going on before? Will they believe me?
“I—” I open my mouth to speak but I don’t know what to say. He reaches his hand over, gently cupping my cheek, causing a flood of emotions to break free. I lean into his touch, closing my eyes as my words fall from my lips in a rush. “I'm scared, Mads. Scared of what people will say, scared of what this might mean for us. But I'm also scared of losing you. I don't want to lose you.”
His other hand presses against my opposite cheek, his eyes burrowing into mine. “Hey, look at me.” I lift my eyes toward his. “You won't lose me, Emery. I'll be here for you, no matter what. Let me show you the love and happiness we can have together. We'll face the world side by side, one step at a time. No matter what happens, I promise that I’m never leaving your side unless you tell me to.”
I nod slowly, finally leaning forward to press my lips softly against his. I lean into his embrace, feeling conflicted but hopeful for the first time since Dane's passing. The kiss deepens, Mads’ tongue slipping past my lips and finding mine. He holds me after breaking the kiss, pressing his forehead against mine. I close my eyes, my nerves settling a little as the car slows to a stop in front of the venue.
“Are you ready?”
I know that if I say no, he’ll have Tony take me back to his house in a heartbeat, but something inside me wants to fight for him… for us. I nod, my heart already entwined in a complicated dance of love, guilt, and longing for Mads Bishop. I don’t think I could walk away from him, even if I wanted to.
18
MADS
Iwrap my arm around Emery’s waist as I lead her up the stairs toward the entrance of the event. I’m fully prepared for the questioning stares as we step over the threshold and enter the party.
Her nervous energy is palpable. I want to tell her that I feel the same way, but I don’t. After her admission in the car, her fear of losing me and the way she looked into my eyes after letting me kiss her again, I feel like I could conquer the world.
The fear of losing her has been eating at me every second of the last month. The agonizing temptation of sharing space with her and not touching her has driven me to new heights of desire.
“Every time you feel anxious tonight, just reach out and grab my hand, okay?”
“Better yet, don’t let my hand go,” she says through a smile as she waves toward someone who recognizes her.
“Madden Bishop, how are you, son?” Ken Pratt walks over to me with arms outstretched, his cheeks already glowing red from too much alcohol. “Every time I see you, you get more handsome.” He smiles, slapping my back. Ken has been a member of the board since I was a teenager. He was close with my father, also a real prick just like my dad as well.
“Good to see you, Ken.” I smile, shaking his hand. “This is Emery Ash—”
“Wagner,” she corrects, smiling sweetly as she extends her hand. “Emery Wagner.”
“Oh, Wagner?” he says, his eyes widening. “Sid Wagner’s daughter?”
“One and the same.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” He clasps her hand with both of his. “I was just broken, we all were, when your parents passed away in the plane crash.” He shakes his head. “And then your husband. If you ever need anything, my wife Patty and I are just a phone call away.”
“Thank you, that’s very kind of you.”
“Your parents were very special people, amazing people.” I notice he doesn’t say the same about Dane. That’s because everyone in the industry hated the piece of shit.
She slowly extracts her hand from his sausage fingers. “They really were and I miss them every day. Thankfully, I have Mads by my side.” She loops her arm through mine and it takes a second for the shock to wear off.
“He’s a good man too.” He smiles, patting my chest before excusing himself to talk to someone else.
I turn to look at Emery. “Already introducing me as the man in your life?”
“Hmm, did I say that?” She gives me a snarky grin. “I think I just mentioned that you were my eye candy, my current flavor of the month.”
“Is that right?” I nod toward another board member as I let my hand drift down her back to settle against her ass.
“Yeah.” She shrugs. “I’ve been thinking and since I married Dane so young, I never got the chance to sow my wild oats, you know? And since I’m only twenty-five, why not start now?”
