Page 115 of If Only You


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“Tested and negative. On the pill.”

“Tested and negative, too,” he says, laughing as I begin scrambling beneath him, urging him over me. “You’re really eager, aren’t you?”

“Christ, Sebastian, aren’t you?”

“No.” He waves a hand playfully, as his throbbing, hard cock slaps into my thigh. “Not at all.”

I laugh and draw him close. I lift my finger to his mouth. He looks at me and opens his lips. I set my finger inside, and he sucks, licking it. “Such a good boy.”

His cock twitches hard against me. “Fuck,” he groans as I pull my finger away, wet and dripping, then rub it over my entrance, adding wetness I really don’t need, but I want to be sure, so it’s smooth and easy.

Staring down at his beautiful length, thick and hard, then up at him, finding those familiar, lovely eyes, I guide him inside me. I sigh as he rocks into me, on slow, shallow thrusts that become a little deeper each time, his eyes searching mine. “God, Ziggy.” He grits his teeth. “God, you feel so good.”

A moan leaves me when he strokes into a spot that’s so exquisitely sensitive, it makes my toes curl. Gently, he turns me toward him so I’m nestled on my side against the sofa, my leg over his hip. “This okay?” he asks.

I nod. “Very okay.”

Sebastian sighs as he eases back into me, his eyes searching mine. “You feel like a fucking dream.”

I smile shakily, wrapping my arm around him drawing him close. “So do you.”

Tracing my hand down his hip, to his backside, I remember what I saw on that nightstand the night of the roller rink fundraiser. I know what it’s for. I can’t touch him there well right now given how we’re positioned, but I can tease him. If he wants me to.

He nods as I come close. “I like it,” he says.

I bring two fingers to his mouth this time, and he sucks, holding my eyes as he rolls his hips into me. I reach around him, thoroughly enjoying the gift of long limbs as we tangle together and move, smiling and kissing, sighing, broken by laughs and gasps of pleasure. I rub him, right behind where he’s hard and drawn up tight, then further back, his legs shaking as he moves with me.

“Ziggy,” he breathes. “I’m not gonna last.”

I kiss him. “I don’t want you to.”

“Rude,” he whispers.

I snort a laugh, but then my laugh becomes a groan as he grips my hip and rocks deeper into me, hard and quick. “Come with me,” he begs. “Please, Ziggy. I need you.”

My eyes start to drift shut, but I force them open to look at him, as he moves faster, eyes locked on mine. “Ziggy.”

“Sebastian.” I breathe his name as his hips falter, as he presses me against the sofa and kisses me frantically. His mouth falls open into our kiss, as he spills into me, as he presses himself deep inside me again, then again. On another faltering, fading stroke, I finally go over with him, too, loud and aching, curled into him as it racks me.

He moves into me still, slower, gentling. Panting, I pull him close and slide onto my back beneath him. Sebastian gives me his weight, heavy and hot, and drops his face into my neck, his warm breath fanning across my skin.

His chest heaves. Mine does, too. He clumsily props himself up on one elbow and brings his fingers to my tangled hair, smoothing it back from my face. Then, sweetly, he bends his head and kisses me. “You…that…so very good.” He sighs and groans as he shuts his eyes. “What are words? I used to have them.”

“I have a few.” I smile and nuzzle his nose. “I love you.”

“I’ve got those, too,” he says quietly, as he opens his eyes again and looks at me, right to the heart of me, fingers gliding through my hair. “I love you, Sigrid. So much.”

“Not ‘too much’?”

He grins and nuzzles my nose, too. “No such thing.”

32

SEBASTIAN

Playlist: “Share Your Address,” Ben Platt

“Sebastian,” Ziggy groans, face smooshed into a couch pillow. She reaches for another pillow we stole from the couch and whacks me with it. “Down, boy.”

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