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He wasn’t happy. But he said what I knew to be true anyway. “Bart wasn’t the father. I was. Are those the words you wanted to hear?”
I shook my head, tears pricking at the backs of my eyes. I was so fucking stupid falling for this man. Had he ever truly wanted me? Or had I just been a substitute for her? Nausea twirled around my stomach at the idea of the two of them rolling around in bed, kissing and touching, his narrow hips pushing her legs apart while he thrust inside her.
“What the fuck, Kian?” Vaughn spat out, storming down the steps. “Are you serious? After everything my father did for you?”
Kian shook his head sadly, his eyes full of hurt. “Good to know what the two of you really think of me.”
Before I could even blink, he grabbed the gun by the barrel, wrenched it from my hand, and switched our positions so the gun was pointing at me.
I gasped.
“Kian!” Vaughn’s shout was desperate.
Kian tossed the gun into the garden and closed the gap between us. “I never slept with your mom. I never even thought about it because”—he turned to Vaughn—“because she was your dad’s woman. I loved your dad. Like you said, he was good to me from the day we moved into the house. He never looked down on me as some poor kid from Saint View who didn’t deserve a chance. You know he used to help me with my homework? He threw the ball with me while my dad worked and you were off at your swim practices. I loved your dad as much as I loved mine. I never would have betrayed him by sleeping with his fiancée. I’m fucking insulted that you thought I would.”
It didn’t make sense. If he’d never slept with her, how had he fathered her baby?
Kian’s gaze drifted back to mine. “It was because I loved him, and her too, that I said yes when they asked if I’d donate sperm so they could have a baby.”
My mouth dropped open. “What?”
“Your mom wanted a baby, Rebel. They both did, and your mom was only in her early forties. The doctors said it was possible, but they didn’t have time to spare, and with dodgy sperm and your mom being older and therefore a high-risk pregnancy, the doctor said using Bart’s sperm wasn’t advisable.” He shrugged. “They needed swimmers. I had them to give.”
I tried to make sense of that in my head. He seemed sincere, but I’d been fooled by him before. I played my ace card. “Sasha said she heard screaming in the nights before they were murdered.”
Kian scrunched up his face. “I don’t know anything about that…” He rubbed his arms, fighting off the cold. His hand traveled over the Band-Aid at the crook of his arm, covering up the wound from where Hawk had taken his blood. He paused, staring down at it. “A couple nights before the wedding, I walked into their room while Miranda was injecting herself with fertility drugs.”
Vaughn groaned. “Let me guess. You passed out.”
Kian scowled at him. “I can’t actually help it, you know that, right? It’s not like I choose to crash down on the floor every time someone whips one out. It’s not exactly fun. Miranda was screaming when I came to, slapping my face. She didn’t know about my needle phobia. Apparently, she thought I’d had a heart attack and died.”
I bit my lip. “She would have already been pregnant then. She mustn’t have known…” I wandered to the front steps and sat down heavily, my heart hurting. “I don’t know why, but that’s so much worse. She didn’t even know she was going to be a mom again.”
Her murderer had taken so much more than just two lives. They’d taken three. As well as the happiness of so many people around them. I would have loved that little baby. Judging by the expression on Vaughn’s and Kian’s faces, they would have too.
That baby would have connected the three of us. But now I just felt lost.
A tear dripped down my face before I lifted my head to meet Kian’s gaze. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He lifted one shoulder. “They didn’t want anyone to know. Bart’s business partners are pretty big on family, and he didn’t want Harold knowing he couldn’t father any more children when Harold was still popping out offspring with his new wife, despite him being ten years older than Bart.”
Vaughn swore low beneath his breath. “Sounds about right. Harold is still on at me to stay married to Brooke and hold up our image as strong, virile, powerful businessmen. It’s his whole brand. Happily settled, straight white men with children at home and a loving wife to take care of them. They make for more trustworthy business partners than men like me, in love with both a woman and a man.”
He took my fingers, threading them through his, and then stared up at Kian. “I love you,” he admitted. “I never fucking stopped.”
I squeezed his hand, warmth settling over me.
I’d seen this all along. The feelings between them. How deep they ran, and how neither could deny them.
But Kian didn’t move. His face was still too filled with hurt. “I’ve waited so long for you to say that. Years, you know that, right? While you went off and married someone else, I hung around waiting, trying to find that feeling with someone else, and I never did.” He looked at me. “Not until you came a long.”
I drew in a breath. “Kian, I—”
He held up a hand, his features hardening. “Honestly, I don’t want to hear it. Not from either of you. I’m always the nice guy, Rebel. Always. I put up with so much fucking shit because I learned young that being nice and sweet and funny and helpful was the way to fit in when the kids in Saint View teased me about living in this mansion, or the kids in Providence teased me about being from the ghetto. None of that mattered if I was good and funny andniceenough that they forgot all that and just saw me.”
He shook his head sadly. “But where did that get me? With the two of you assuming I had such low morals I’d steal a man’s wife. Or that I was capable of murdering innocent people. Hell, Rebel, you just turned a gun on me like you were afraid I would hurt you. So excuse me if your ‘I love yous’ now seem a little farfetched. And if you honestly do love someone who you think capable of that sort of behavior, then you aren’t the people I thought you were.”
Vaughn pushed to his feet and reached for him. “Kian, come on. That’s not what this is.”
