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“It was fucked-up,” Carlo agreed.
“You made it sound like it wasn’t serious when it obviously was,” Matteo agreed, tipping back his beer bottle.
“What is she thinking right now?” I asked, worst-case scenarios swirling in my head.
Matteo slapped my arm. “That you denounced her in front of your family.”
I braced my hands on the counter, needing to ground myself. “She’s been worried that our parents won’t accept her. That she’s not the right girl for me. That’s why we held back. It wasn’t worth the risk of her losing our family if it wasn’t the real deal.”
“Let’s be honest. You knew it was the real deal a long time ago. You were just scared to tell Gia and Mamma. Our request for you to keep it quiet was convenient for you.”
I felt sick to my stomach. “I was afraid of how they’d react. That Harper was right, and Mamma wanted someone else for me. That she’d never accept Harper, and then Harper wouldn’t feel comfortable being around us.”
We fell silent, all lost in our thoughts.
“What are you going to do now?” Matteo finally asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t know where anyone stands.”
Carlo crossed his arms over his chest. “What does it matter?”
“How can I move forward if our parents don’t approve?” Gia wasn’t as much of a concern for me as it was for Harper. I knew Gia would accept me and get over it, but Mamma? She was strong-willed, and she wanted what she thought was best for us. Not what we wanted.
Carlo hesitated, as if he was thinking of the right thing to say. “You can care what our parents think, but you shouldn’t change your life because of their beliefs, wants, and desires. Are you living the life they want or the one you do?”
I thought about that for a few seconds. “If I don’t take into account what anyone else thinks, I want Harper and Evie.” When I let myself imagine the perfect future, those two were living in my house, filling it with love and joy and purpose. Whether we had more kids or not, I’d be happy with them.
Carlo nodded. “Then they’re the only two people you should be concerned about. Not Gia or Mamma and Papà.”
I couldn’t wrap my mind around what he was saying. A part of me wanted to follow him down this path because it held everything I wanted, but it seemed too easy. “But how can I ignore their feelings?”
“You’re not ignoring them. You’re doing what’s right for you, and that’s the only thing that matters.”
“We’ve always bowed to what Mamma wants, but then, we haven’t truly wanted anything different. We haven’t met someone who we want to spend our future with. You have,” Matteo said.
“Besides, if you go first, then it will be easier for us,” Carlo joked.
“I’m the oldest. I always go first.” And smooth the path ahead for my younger brothers. For the moment, Mamma and Papà were at the airport and would be gone for weeks. Gia would talk to me when she was ready, and she knew she didn’t have any real control over my life. If Harper was who I wanted, she’d accept it. Eventually. Besides, she wasn’t losing a friend, she was gaining a sister. And if not, it was her choice not to want to see that I was happy.
“Now, what are you going to do about it?” Matteo repeated.
“I need to talk to Harper. I need to explain to her that she’s the one I want.”
“Good luck with that,” Matteo said.
I remembered the hurt on her face when she turned away from me and left. I’d caused that pain when I was trying to be diplomatic in front of my family. I should have protected our relationship instead. “You think she’ll forgive me?”
“If you’ve established yourself in a healthy relationship, then she should hear you out,” Carlo said.
I bowed my head. “That’s not the same as forgiveness.”
“Do you think you deserve Harper and Evie?” Carlo asked.
Lifting my head, I said, “They’re amazing. I’m so lucky to be with them.”
In a rare moment of seriousness, Matteo said, “Then show them what they mean to you.”
“How much time do you think I have to do that?” I asked, a million things running through my head while I pulled up a number on my phone.
