Page 21 of Finally, His

Two emotions warred inside her over his statement. She wanted his attention—all of it. But hisinterestwasn’t enough.

She yawned before she could stop herself, and he caught it.

“I’ve kept you long enough,” he said.

Her breath stalled. She knew what he meant. Time to go to sleep, but they landed like he was cutting her loose.

“Have a good night,” she managed to get out.

“I’ll see you soon.”

And then he was gone, and she didn’t hear from him for the next two days. Maybe he knew she’d lied? Maybe he was cutting her loose? Why was her imagination trying to kill her? She had to get a grip.

Friday morning dawned clear and bright, but her mood remained dark. The journal remained blank, though she’d tried every day to fill it with something—anything. She was sure he didn’t mean for her to write about field trips to Alexander’s gardens. Or did he?

Her brain was mush. Everything she thought of felt … wrong. Or, rather,incomplete. Or worse, it might not be what he wished for.

Did he like to play with ropes? Floggers? Some of the scary-looking furniture she’d seen in Club Accendos’ Library?

Did he want to see her in a cat costume? Dress as a French maid? Don bunny ears and hop around like the lunatic she was beginning to grow into?

The truth was, what she wanted might be more than he’d be willing to give, and she couldn’t bear the thought of hearing him turn her down. She wanted more of their Wednesday night conversation, something normal and hopeful. Or how close it made her feel to him anyway.

She needed help, so she begged Charlotte to meet her for coffee Friday morning.

“What are you obsessing about?” Charlotte smiled at her over her coffee cup.

“I haven’t heard from him in two days.”

“But you’re meeting him today, and he probably spent all day yesterday traveling. Then there’s jet lag …” Charlotte sipped her coffee.

Her friend was trying to make her feel better.

Charlotte’s cup clinked to the saucer. “What time do you see him?”

“In four hours. In his office.”

“Oh, his office.” Charlotte’s smile disappeared.

“What does it mean?”

She eyed the small journal by her coffee. “He probably wants to go over that. Still don’t know what to put in there? What do you want?”

“Oh, I know what I want.” Or who. “I just don’t know how to phrase it.” Which was ridiculous, given her entire job was working with words.

“It’s not always easy to articulate it. But knowing you, you’re seeking the perfect words.”

She was. There were things he could show her she didn’t even realize she’d want. She was sure of it.

Charlotte sighed. “Look, my best advice is just to write the bottom line. What is the one thing you two could do together you can’t live without? Start there.”

“Hmm.” She chewed the inside of her cheek. She knew, but … She shook her head. “He wouldn’t.”

“You’d be surprised.” Charlotte reached around and grabbed her coat off the back of the chair. “I’ve got to get to work. We’re installing an outdoor classroom at St. Mary’s next week, and the landscaping crew has a million questions … still.” She rolled her eyes.

Colette had always known Charlotte to be so reserved. To hear her talk with such confidence heartened her. Perhaps that was what happened when you found yourself in your perfect place?

That was it. She finally admitted the truth to herself. There was only one thing she wanted: her perfect place.

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