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"Yes," I interjected, running a hand through my hair. "Move the emergent cases to Dr. Colter. I’ll fill him in on the way. Reschedule everything else for at least two weeks out, please. If I need more time, I'll let you know."
"Of course, Dr. Montivais," he said, his fingers already moving to reschedule my appointments. His efficiency was a blessing.
I thanked him again before turning away, my mind back to Jude. I didn’t want to leave her in the dark. My stomach twisted with anxiety at the thought of telling her, not knowing when I would see her again.
I’ll call her from the airport. I need to get home to pack and prepare.
I raced home, committing several traffic violations. As I unlocked the front door and entered, a rush of conflicting emotions washed over me. The familiar surroundings felt both comforting and alien in light of the news.
I had barely an hour to pack. My mind was a ball of mush. What do you pack when your father’s life hangs in the balance and you have no idea when you’ll return?
Moving in a flurry of activity, I hastily grabbed my suitcase and began to throw in whatever I could find. Clothes, toiletries, travel documents—all were tossed in without care. The ticking clock became my enemy. In the back of my mind, I had this gnawing feeling that I was forgetting something.
With a last look around, I zipped up the suitcase, grabbed my keys and headed for the door. I drove to the airport in a haze, the sights and sounds fading into the background as my thoughts roamed to my family back in Spain.
As I stepped into the bustling airport, a strange calm washed over me—I’d made it there in time.
With a sigh of relief, I handed over my suitcase and collected my boarding pass. As I sat at the gate waiting for the boarding call, I let my head fall back against the seat, closing my eyes. The last few hours had been nothing short of a rollercoaster. From an average morning in the OR to unexpectedly racing across the world.
The constant hum of the airport activity buzzed around me. I felt disconnected from it all, caught up in my own drama. I was solely focused on getting to Madrid, on reaching my father's side.
In my haste and worry, something crucial had slipped my mind. The memory of a warm smile, teasing laughter, and tender kisses. The image of Jude's face flashed before my eyes, and my stomach clenched with guilt. I couldn’t leave the country without telling her what was going on. I couldn’t just stand her up for dinner without an explanation.
But before I could dwell on it, an announcement came across the speakers. Flight to Paris, now boarding. I swallowed hard, stood up, and with one last look at the city I'd come to call home, I walked toward the gate, onto the airplane, and into the unknown. My mind was far too consumed with worry for my father to realize what I had left unsaid, or who I had left in the dark.
Wait until you’re on the plane,I told myself as I formed up in line to board the plane.Sit down and take a deep breath before messaging her. One thing at a time.
As the seatbelt sign blinked off and the low hum of the airplane engine filled the cabin, I finally felt my body relax into the plush first-class seat. The immediate urgency was over. Now, it was just a waiting game.
A flight attendant came around, her polished smile never faltering. I requested a cocktail, something strong. She returned promptly, placing a crystal glass filled with amber liquid on the small table in front of me.
As I cradled the glass in my hand, the dim lights of the cabin reflecting in the liquid, I allowed my thoughts to wander. I found myself replaying the whirlwind of the last few hours, my mind stuck in an endless loop of worry and regret.
The sip of the cocktail burned a path down my throat, the kick of the alcohol grounding me. I leaned back into my seat, allowing the smooth liquor to soothe my frayed nerves.
My eyes wandered aimlessly around the cabin, and they fell on a man sitting a few seats away from me. A black lab was sprawled across the empty seat next to him, its head resting on the man's lap. A service dog. The sight brought back a rush of memories that I hadn't had the time or sense of mind to process until then.
Jude.
The realization hit me like a punch to the gut. The guilt was immediate, overwhelming. In the chaos of the day, I had completely forgotten to contact her. She was probably waiting for me to arrive for dinner. She had no idea what was happening.
I reached into my pocket, my fingers fumbling for my phone, but it wasn’t there. A quick pat down of my other pockets yielded the same result. My phone, my only way of contacting Jude, was at home, probably sitting on the kitchen counter where I’d left it in my mad dash to pack.
The cabin suddenly felt claustrophobic, the hum of the engines louder, the cocktail sour. For the first time since I received my mother's call, panic started to creep in, not for my father but for Jude. I had left her in the dark, with no explanation, and no way to reach me.
As the miles stretched between us, with no way to convey the sudden upheaval of my life, all I could hope was that when I eventually returned, she would understand and still be there, waiting.
Chapter 28
Jude
The smell of rosemary chicken wafted through the air, the aroma of home-cooking filling the emptiness of the kitchen. As I set the table for two, I ran through my meticulously planned speech once again, hoping to ease my pounding heart.
"Tony," I began, rehearsing aloud as I adjusted the silverware, "there's something I need to talk to you about..." It was easier speaking to an empty room. I paused, taking a deep breath to steady my voice.
"Recently I've been feeling nauseous and I’ve gained a bit of weight," I continued, smoothing the tablecloth. "I took a test, I saw my OB/GYN, and it turns out I'm pregnant."
I flinched at my own words. They still sounded so alien, so foreign. I took a moment to compose myself before pressing on, "It was unexpected. I've been on a low dose birth control, but apparently it failed."
