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With a snort, Holden reared up so he could face Greg fully. “Okay, one, you have been with an incredible number of assholes. Two, am I happy you came? Absolutely. Because it means you got to have an orgasm, and orgasms are amazing. And three, you did most of the work. I just lay there and took it.”
“They weren’t all assholes,” Greg murmured as he reached for Holden’s hand.
“Yes. They were. And do you know how I know they were? Because you’re not with them. You are an incredible person, Gregory Sullivan. You’re sweet and sexy and caring, and you make me feel…cherished and special. I’m honored to be with you, and if I have to tell you every day that I will do my best not to break either your heart or your trust, I will do it. And gladly. Because it means that you’re mine for another day.”
“Yours.” Greg squeezed Holden’s hand and nodded. “And I will promise to stop worrying that the next thing out of your mouth is that I’m too much trouble.”
“See? Assholes.” Holden squeezed back. “You shouldn’t have to promise something like that.” He picked up a persimmon slice that had been dipped in white chocolate and held it out for Greg to eat. “And I am going to look into PrEP so that the next time we’re together, you’ll have two less things to worry about.”
They lay back down with Greg spooning Holden and watched the flames dance in the fireplace.
“Do you want to go skiing tomorrow?” Greg asked.
“I don’t know. Spending the day in bed with you sounds like a much better idea.”
“I could get on board with that.”
Unfortunately,thenextmorning,they were woken up by a phone call from Holden’s boss telling him he needed to be on a plane out of Denver that afternoon. He needed to be in DC first thing in the morning for a meeting at the Pentagon. The man’s voice carried loud enough Greg could hear every word, and he wondered how Holden could stand to have the phone so close to his ear.
“Sorry to cut that R and R a bit short, Mercer. You’ve been out in the field long enough your desk’s got cobwebs, but this new module’s fucking the sims up, and the generals are pissed. They want your take on what’s going on.”
“I understand,” Holden said. “No worries. Have Grace text me the details when she makes the reservation. I’m up in Aspen, so she needs to give me enough time before the flight to get back to Denver and return the rental car. Probably anything after five will work.”
“Will do.”
Holden hung up and tossed his phone back on the nightstand, and then he slammed his head back into the pillows. “Fuck.”
“Yeah.” Greg stared up at the ceiling, reality starting to descend on him. Holden was going back to his job. In a little over a week, Greg would be back at his. How long until this became just a vacation fling for Holden?
Chapter sixteen
Holden
LeavingAspenwasgoingto suck. It wasn’t just that Holden’s time with Greg had been cut short or that they hadn’t had a chance to talk about what would happen next for them. What really sucked was the way Greg shut down on him. After the phone call with his boss ended, Greg retreated into the bathroom and showered without inviting Holden to join him. By the time he emerged, Grace had sent him his flight details, and Holden was packed and ready to get going after they ate breakfast. Holden tried to initiate a conversation, but Greg shut him down by saying he needed to pack up as well since he’d be staying in the main lodge for the rest of his visit.
It killed Holden to see the pain Greg was trying to hide, but he was at a loss as to how to fix it or offer comfort. He’d reassured Greg multiple times this past week that he didn’t want to walk away, but the only thing that would prove it was time. Time they no longer had, thanks to his job.
They loaded up the SUV in silence, and Holden drove back to the inn.
“I’m going to miss this place,” he said. “Maybe I can come back in the spring, see the snowmelt and the trees coming back to life.”
“Maybe.” Greg’s face was turned toward the window, his hands drawn into his lap, which made it impossible for Holden to reach out for him.
Greg was out of the SUV as soon as Holden parked. He barely got his seat belt off before Greg was pulling his bags out of the back.
“Hey. Hold on,” Holden said and was grateful when Greg paused. He took the flight bag out of Greg’s hands and placed it on the ground. “This is shitty timing, I know, but can we talk over breakfast? Make a plan for when we can see each other again.”
“You don’t have to pretend,” Greg said.
“I’m not.” His voice was sharper than he intended, and Greg kept staring over Holden’s shoulder rather than looking at him. That was totally unacceptable, so Holden gathered both of Greg’s hands in his own and pulled him closer. “I’m not pretending or feeding you a line or anything like that. I like you. I want to keep in touch.”
Greg’s sharp inhale and the sudden tension in his body told Holden he’d said the wrong thing.
“Look,” he said, trying again. “I don’t have a lot of experience with dating. I’m forty-eight, and I’ve never had a serious relationship, let alone a long-distance one, so I don’t know how these things work. What I do know is I don’t want to go from meeting someone I think is amazing, someone I’d like to know better and have just spent the most incredible days of my life with, to never seeing them again.”
“But how does this work?” Greg asked, finally looking at Holden. He took a small bit of hope from that, even if Greg’s beautiful blue eyes had clouded over like a stormy sky.
“I don’t know. All I know is I want it to. I want to find a way to see you, to know you better. I want the time we’ve spent together to be a beginning, not an end.”
