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He chuckled. “You already said that, Macy.”
“Yeah, but what if?”
“What if everything goes right?”
Well, that was just rude. He didn’t have to posit that kind of thing on me when I was on a spiral into the worry pit I was used to occupying. But I had to admit that it was nice for somebody to give me another perspective for a change.
Even if it irritated me. “Fine. Maybe things will be alright.”
“That’s the spirit.”
“How are you able to be so positive? Like a week ago you were talking about disappearing into the mountains to pray or something.”
He laughed.
“Meditate,” he corrected. “It’s hard to be sad or feel guilty around you, Macy. You make me so happy.”
Hearing that just turned me into a puddle, a lot like the way he did in the privacy of our bedroom. No more couch sleeping for the man who could hardly fit on the couch.
I threaded my fingers with his while looking up at him. “You don’t think I’m damaged goods?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“It means all my trauma and stuff makes me unattractive or something.”
He huffed with amusement. “I thought you would think the same thing about me until I told you about my past.”
“That’s why I feel comfortable telling you now. Because you shared that with me.”
“So, it was the right thing to do.”
I liked how comforting that sounded coming from him. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, a confident realization that he had put his trust in me.
That felt so good. “I have something else to tell you, Juriah. I don’t know how it’s going to make you feel, but I just want you to know that it’s from another time in my life.”
He held my hands loosely in his lap. “Whatever it is, I’ll listen, little wolf.”
I hesitated.
This was the hard part about opening up to someone. Even though Juriah hadn’t given me any sign of going back on his word, there was always the feeling of the other shoe about to drop. How many more years would I have to spend in the hell of my memories before I got to really living?
I had to start trying to live or else I would end up like the living dead.
I swallowed my fear and closed my eyes again. “The last time I tried to leave the Baneridge Hounds was by trying to kill myself.”
His voice was washed with horror. “Macy…”
“It was just a bottle of pills I found in Percy’s bathroom one time. Ugh, it was disgusting too. I hated myself the whole time,” I explained. “And then when I thought I was in the clear, Percy found me. He had one of his witches bring me back to life.”
Juriah remained silent for so long that I opened my eyes just to make sure he hadn’t left me on the edge of the lake.
My throat clicked when I swallowed again. “I was forced to take a potion that would keep me alive for as long as I belonged to Percy. I guess that magic ran out when you bought me, huh?”
He laughed and then he frowned. And then he yanked me into his arms. “I’m so glad you’re not dead.”
“I’m glad too. I mean, I was mad back then. And then I was forced to enter that stupid auction with that dumb dress—”
“That dress looked ravishing on you.”
