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His square jaw tightens at the rebuke, a muscle in his cheek twitching. We stand there in angry silence for several heartbeats, the tension crackling.
Finally he breaks it, his voice low and gruff. “This isn’t just about the job, Miller. We’ve known each other a long time. Almost ten years. I just want you to be careful. Please.”
The sudden shift to vulnerability deflates my anger like air hissing from a balloon. I know his overbearing behavior comes from a place of caring, however misguided. We were green recruits together once, and we’ve had each other’s backs ever since. I can’t forget that bond, no matter how domineering he’s become over the years.
I soften my tone a fraction. “I appreciate you looking out for me. I really do. But this is my assignment. You need to let me do my job, my way. Trust me enough to make my own decisions in the field.”
My own decisions, like sleeping with the target.
Oh, God.
I’m so screwed.
But I need to think it all through, figure out how to own up tothatwithout putting Sienna’s future in jeopardy. It’s not just about me.
His shoulders slump a bit, but his eyes remain clouded with doubt and frustration. Before he can argue further, I step to the curb and wave down an approaching yellow cab. As it pulls over, tires hissing on the wet pavement, I turn back to Wright with finality.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at the briefing.”
Leaving him standing there on the sidewalk, his tall frame silhouetted by the streetlights behind him, I slide into the back of the cab and pull the door closed. My heart is still pounding from the confrontation as I let out a shaky breath. The stale air and cracked vinyl seats envelop me, the cab’s dingy interior a welcome change from the luxury I’m immersed in day and night.
“Where to?” the driver asks, glancing at me in the rearview mirror. He’s an older man with a neat gray beard and kind eyes. Just a regular working guy making his living, free from the complications of my world.
I envy him.
My first thought is to just give him the Park Avenue address of my elaborate undercover apartment. Keep up the facade, play the part of Natalie Moreau.
But I can’t face going back there right now. Not with its ever-present cameras and bugs monitoring my every move and word. Right now, what I desperately need is sanctuary. A place where I can shed all my disguises and pretenses and just be myself again, if only for a moment.
“Queens,” I say at last. “37thAvenue. I’ll direct you when we get closer.”
He nods, unfazed, and pulls out into traffic. As the bustling city speeds by outside the smudged window, I sink back into my thoughts.
I chose this deep cover assignment to expose the truth. Bring dangerous criminals to justice. Uphold the law with unwavering conviction. That desire for justice still burns within me, as much a part of me as my own DNA.
But Alessa has opened my eyes to the shades of gray that exist beyond my black-and-white view of the world. She conducts morally questionable deeds to achieve noble ends. She challenges my deepest perceptions of right and wrong.
And every moment with her only further unravels the tight weave of certainties I once clung to. Every look, every touch, every shared secret pulls me deeper into the seductive quicksand that is Alessa de Luca.
And I…Isleptwith her.
With a silent groan, I drop my face in my hands.
What was Ithinking?
Well. I wasn’t thinking. I was just…feeling. My heart surrenders all logic whenever I’m near her.
With Alessa, I’ve discovered parts of myself I never knew existed. Parts that both exhilarate and terrify me in their intensity. She’s awakened feelings in me beyond anything I’ve ever known before.
I came here determined to expose the criminal empress of New York. Instead, I’ve exposed my own vulnerabilities. And this scares me more than any gun or knife ever could.
Because I know now one thing is certain—if I let emotion override reason and duty, there’s no telling where it will lead me. And as long as Alessa remains in my orbit, the temptation to break orbit completely may prove too powerful to resist.
* * *
The cab ride to Queens is both too short and endless. When I finally direct the driver to pull up outside my nondescript apartment building, I pay him quickly and step out onto the cracked sidewalk.
The normalcy of Queens closes around me like a comforting blanket. Here, I can shed Natalie Moreau’s opulent lifestyle as easily as I’ll shed this dress. Wash away the makeup, take off the jewelry.
