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And I have no idea how much of that was me playing a role, or just…
Me.
I take a deep breath as the dress crumples to the floor. Naked, I feel exposed. Vulnerable. Alone in this unfamiliar space.
I go back across the luxe carpet into the bathroom. As I begin wiping off my heavy makeup in front of the mirror, I think over my first real glimpse into Alessa de Luca’s world, a glittering realm of celebrities and mobsters, where charm and danger mingle freely behind forced smiles.
Seeing it all up close stirred up disgust in me, a disgust I struggled to hide from the very woman I’m supposed to be buddying up to. Can I truly belong in this place? Pass myself off in their midst? I don’t know…
I slide the diamond earrings from my lobes. Were they always this heavy?
Playing this role seemed so clear before. Now doubts creep in.
But it’s time to report.
I shrug on a satin robe and make my way to the study, where I open up my laptop and flip through the tabs until I find the one controlling the hidden cameras throughout the apartment. Nothing in the bedroom, thank God, but all the more public areas are under surveillance, including this study. One by one, I cycle through the various angles, checking that each one provides a clear, unobstructed view. I test the embedded microphones, listening for any audible crackle or pop. Satisfied with the setup, I settle in to write my report for the evening before anything passes out of my mind.
Five minutes after I’ve sent it and gone back to the bedroom, the sudden ringing of my cell phone jars me from my thoughts. I snatch it from the dresser and Sam Wright’s codename flashes across the screen.
“Hey, Wright,” I answer, my voice wavering slightly.
“Miller. How are you holding up?” Wright’s baritone resonates through the phone. Calming. Grounding.
“I’m okay.” I wet my lips. “Just sent in my report.”
“I saw it. Wanted to check in.” After a pause, he asks, “Nat, is everything okay?”
I sink onto the massive canopy bed, clutching a pillow to my tummy like I’m a child with a teddy bear. “It’s this role, Sam. I thought I had no qualms but now…” My voice trails off.
Silence. Then: “Yeah. It ain’t pretty playing these games, manipulating feelings. But the potential impact here—crippling the Mancini family, getting justice for countless victims—it makes it worth it in my book. You’ll do great. Trust your instincts. And remember, I’m right here if you need me.”
His steady presence comforts me, as it has so many times before. Sam’s confidence in my abilities helps temper my doubts. Not for the first time, I’m grateful to have him as my handler. To have a friend at my back.
“Just stick to the plan we discussed and let her reactions guide you. Don’t force anything.” His advice is sound, as always.
“I know. I just…I find myself questioning whether the end truly justifies these means.”
“Look, Miller, I won’t blow smoke about the moral grey areas here. But taking down an organization profiting off of human lives? That tips the scale for me. You’re strong enough to play a little dirty here. It’s for the greater good.”
“Part of me knows that…” My voice trails off again.
I don’t want to say what’s really bothering me. But I can admit it to myself. This weaponization of my sexuality?
It’s way more uncomfortable than I ever thought it would be.
“I feel like a damn honeytrap,” I burst out.
Wright isn’t dumb enough to deny it. “It’s heavy, putting principles aside. I get that. It ain’t easy. But the respect you’ll get for making this sacrifice, bringing down the Mancinis? It’ll be worth it. You got this. Eyes on the prize, Special Agent Miller.”
Wright’s voice echoes my own thoughts, shoring up my resolve. “You’re absolutely right. Thanks, Wright.” My voice regains its firmness, and I feel almost like myself again.
“All good. Get some rest and we’ll debrief fully tomorrow.”
“Good night.”
As I set down the phone, my doubts subside. Wright’s logic has won out. The mission’s importance makes my moral struggles worthwhile.
Tomorrow I’ll work with my team to prepare for this dinner with Alessa. This lavish place, my false identity, it all serves a greater purpose.
