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Why am I not jealous?
Am I being…dazzled?
No. If anything, Clay has been seeking out a connection with me that I don’t think he’s getting from people like my dad or his family. It’s the same thing he’s been pursuing with Eden. And I still don’t quite know what that is, but I’m getting there. The more I see him with Eden, the more I understand.
When I glance up at my dad, noticing that he’s still wearing a frown, I hop out of my seat and put my arm around his broad shoulders. Then I lean against his side, and we stare out at the water together, both perfectly content to embrace the tender moment.
I feel a little guilty for pushing a subject that obviously stung him a little.
“Thanks for a great day, Daddy,” I whisper, squeezing him a little tighter.
I know deep down my dad is just afraid of losing me. I’m all he has left. And on top of that, he’s afraid to see me make the same mistakes he did.
I have a feeling that in this scenario, my dad might be relating a little more to Clay than me, and he’s afraid that Clay will do to me what he did to my mother. He thinks he charmed her into a long relationship, and it was never perfect. They had their issues for years, and we could all see my mother’s restlessness, but neither of us was willing to face it.
Okay, maybe I’m carrying guilt for that too.
And maybe she stayed when I was a kid because she knew that if she left, I would stay. I was always my dad’s, first and foremost.
But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Love and family life are complicated. It’s never perfect, and problems are truly unavoidable. Guilt, fear, and resentment are just shadows—inevitable dark spots behind where love, trust, and happiness shine.
My dad is just trying to protect me. I love him for that, but I also know that the thing he’s trying to protect me from is already happening. I’m already falling in love, charmed and dazzled beyond hope. And there’s nothing any of us can do about it.
* * *
“How’s Jack?” I ask, lying on my bed later that night with my phone pressed against my ear.
“Better. It was just a fever,” he replies. He’s on his treadmill. I can tell by the way he’s panting while he talks and the pounding of his feet in the background.
“And how is she?” I ask innocently.
“She’s good,” he replies casually, but I can tell there’s more to it. When I don’t say anything for a moment, I hear the beep of his treadmill as he stops running and breathes into the phone. “Jade, I have to tell you something.”
I force myself to swallow as my skin erupts in goose bumps. This feels bad, and I’m nervous for what he’s about to say. The worst-case scenario is him telling me they’re madly in love and he’s leaving me for her.
“I kissed her.”
Those three words hang on the telephone line while I let them sink in. I try to digest them to form some kind of reaction, but I must be broken. Because I feel…almost nothing. That can’t be normal.
“Did you at least record it like I asked?” I reply sarcastically, but he doesn’t laugh.
With a huff, he says, “Jade, I’m serious.”
I sit up in my bed. “I’m serious too, Clay. I think you’re expecting me to be mad about that, but I’m not. I probably should be. You’re my boyfriend, and you kissed another woman. Maybe if it wasn’t for the chemistry we shared last night, it would be different.”
“God, this is so weird.” He groans.
“No, it’s not,” I reply. “Because I trust you. You didn’t sleep with her, did you?”
“No,” he says on an exhale.
“Did you ask her if she wanted to be with us both again?” I ask, worried that my hopes are about to be dashed.
“Yes,” he replies, dragging out the word.
“And?”
“Tomorrow night. My place,” he says, and my jaw drops.
