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“Of course,” I reply.
“Are you two…dating then?”
My smile fades as I stare at him in confusion. Either I missed something, or he did, but right now, I’m too afraid to give something away that I shouldn’t. There’s no way Jade already told her dad about our relationship, is there? She would have told me.
“Who?” I ask. “Me and Jade?”
“You and Clay. He hasn’t mentioned anything at the office, but then again, why would he tell me?” he replies with a laugh. Then he shakes his head. “I’m sorry. That’s so forward of me. It’s none of my business. Clay’s a great guy. If you are seeing him, I’d be happy to take all of you out on the water.”
He’s rambling, but I don’t catch a word. My mind is struggling to keep up. All it keeps repeating in my head is—if Clay is dating Jade, why would her father ask me if I’m dating Clay…
Unless he doesn’t know.
“It was nice running into you,” he says as he carries his cooler toward the water, clearly oblivious to the way my mind is spinning. “Have a great day, and definitely let me know if you guys would like to get on the boat sometime.”
Mindlessly, I wave and mumble something like goodbye to him.
Does Jade’s father really not know about their relationship? Clay wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t sleep with his coworker’s daughter and lie about it for months.
Why wouldn’t they tell me about this?
They’ve been keeping me in the dark this whole time?
Why?
When someone speeds past me on their bike, I blink myself out of my head. Quickly, I scan the area for Jack on his scooter. He was riding circles in the paved lot just a moment ago.
But all I see are people walking toward the pier to get on their boats. And families walking together along the harbor. And kids doing skateboard tricks.
No Jack.
“Jack,” I call, trying to keep myself from panicking.
But after a moment, and still no sign of him, my blood pressure starts to rise, and every terrifying thought creeps in. What have I done? He could be anywhere. This is all my fault.
“Jack!” I scream as I take off, running to every corner of the paved section of the park to find him.
It feels like hours before I hear his little voice. “I’m right here, Mama.”
By that point, it’s too late. Tears streak my cheeks as I gather him up in my arms and squeeze him tight.
“I was just chasing birds,” he says with his face muffled against my shirt. “I’m sorry, Mama.”
His apologetic tone makes me feel bad for scaring him, but he scared me.
“It’s not your fault, buddy. I just looked away. I never should have looked away.”
“It’s okay, Mama,” he whispers, his tiny hand stroking my back as I hold him in a tight hug. “It’s not your fault.”
Everything inside me breaks on those little words.
He has no idea, but it is my fault. It always is.
Rule #41: Don’t count your seeds before they’ve bloomed.
Jade
Can we meet at Clay’s tonight?
