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“It’s not over,” I say with a sob.
I stare at Eden and wait for her to correct him. It’s not over.
But when her eyes meet mine, they say everything I don’t want to hear. She takes a step toward me, but I quickly step back, keeping distance between us.
I’ve never wanted distance from her.
“It’s over, Jade. We can’t even communicate. How on earth could we ever make a relationship work?”
“We try,” I reply. “We work at it. We make mistakes, and we learn, and we try again. Because we love each other.”
I expect at least one of them to agree or give in or accept what I’m saying, but they’re both still so bitter and broken they don’t move.
“I’m sorry,” Eden whispers, but I shake my head, letting my tears fall.
“No, you’re not.”
As I grit my teeth and shove away the sob that’s building in my chest, I feel something in me snap. Without a word, I grab my purse from the chair by the door. I’ve never been so angry in all of my life.
“You’re both wrong,” I shout. “You’rebothcowards, and now I’m convinced you deserve each other. Neither one of you can even bear to take a risk. So what if it eventually ends? So what if we don’t make it forever? You can’t even give us a chance now? Well, if you won’t bother trying, then neither will I.”
Without another word, I open the door and slam it behind me.
I run out of the apartment building, turning my back on them, on our future, and maybe on love altogether. I make it all the way home before I reach my bed and sob into my pillow until I fall asleep.
Rule #42: It’s never too late to apologize.
Clay
Sometime last night, after leaving the club, I found the nearest bar, where I proceeded to get as drunk as physically possible. The last thing I remember is being shoved into a taxi by an angry bartender and somehow landing in my bed. Where I’m currently lying, wishing the last twenty-four hours never happened.
But I can’t undo anything. I can’t undo that fight with Eden. I can’t undo our entire meaningless eight-month relationship. I can’t undo the damage she’s done to my heart.
By some miracle, my phone and wallet both made it home safely, but my phone is currently dead under a heap of clothes on my floor.
It takes another two hours before I muster the energy to pick it up and plug it in.
I somehow manage to take a shower, make a cup of coffee, and shovel something cold and tasteless into my mouth, so my stomach will stop growling. Then I go back to bed.
Tonight, I should go back to the club. I should be seeing her in just a few hours, but I won’t.
Because it’s over.
To distract myself, I pick up my phone and scroll through some meaningless sites. When I swipe them away and return to my home screen, I notice an unread text message notification.
Opening my messages, I read the ones she must have sent me last night.
Clay, I’m sorry that it has to be this way. I wish I could take away the last eight months so you never had to feel this pain, but I promise you, it’s for the best. I’m too broken to be anything more than your Domme. My life is a mess, and I’m afraid love will never be in the cards for me now. It was never about you not being good enough. You were always so good for me.
So now, I’m giving you one last command.
Forget about me.
Find someone who can give you everything you deserve.
Then love them even more than you loved me.
Do that for me. Please.
