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My head shakes slowly in response. “I don’t know.”
“Don’t you want to?” she asks. “Don’t you have an aching need between your legs right now?”
It’s suddenly hard to breathe. Slowly, I nod.
“Does she look embarrassed?” she asks, nodding toward the girl who looks ready to come at any moment.
“No.”
“Because she takes what she wants and is not ashamed of it. It’s what shedeserves.Before you can ask for what you want in the bedroom, you have to learn how to put yourself first.”
Just then, the girl behind the window seizes in a screaming orgasm. There are soft moans and sighs in the crowd around me, and I feel so tied to this moment and this space that I can hardly move. It’s like an out-of-body experience.
A moment later, the light in the room goes dark, and the people around us start moving away from the window, but I’m glued to my place. I keep replaying Eden’s words in my head about taking what I want and learning to please myself before others.
I can do that. Just today, I expressed what I wanted with Clay, but it was hard for me, wasn’t it? I was nervous that I was asking too much by wanting him to go down on me and make me come without receiving anything in return. But how much have I offered to do that for him? Do I really put him first more than myself?
Eden pulls away from me, and I immediately miss the warmth of her body.
“It’s only the first day, but eventually, I want you to be comfortable with this. Then maybe you can get in one of these rooms to see what it’s like.” She says it so nonchalantly that I stare in shock at her as she walks toward the exit.
“Me? In there?”
“Eventually,” she replies confidently.
“Do you go in there?” I ask as we reach the main room, heading toward the bar.
She responds with a sexy sort of chuckle. “Yes. All the time. I find it empowering.”
As we reach the bar, she mouths something to the bartender, a cute tan-skinned man with soft curls and piercing eyes. A moment later, he delivers two glasses of ice water, and she hands one to me.
I don’t realize how parched I am until the cool liquid hits my lips, and then I’m suddenly guzzling it down.
“Have you ever masturbated in front of someone before?”
I choke on the water currently going down my throat, and it goes down the wrong pipe, making me cough into my glass. She laughs again, this time handing me a napkin to clean up the water all over my face.
“You’ll get used to that,” she replies with a smile. “So, have you?”
“Not like that,” I reply, nodding toward the hallway we just walked out of.
“No. Not like that. But with a partner. Maybe while they do it too?”
“Um…no,” I say, thinking back to the people I’ve been with. Although I don’t have to think that hard. I’m pretty sure I’d remember something like that.
“Okay, that’s your homework then. Tell your partner that’s what you’d like to do. It will give them a chance to see how you pleasure yourself and also make you feel more comfortable with expressing yourself sexually.”
“You mean with Clay?” I reply as she takes a sip of the water in her glass. I can’t help but notice the way her eyes unfocus and her jaw clenches at the mention of his name.
“Yes, of course.” Her voice is even and cool. “You didn’t tell him about coming to see me, did you?”
I shake my head. “No.” Then I chew on my lip as I stare at her skeptically. “Do you mind me asking why?”
She swallows and straightens her spine. “Because he was a client of mine, and this is a conflict of interest.”
“But what if I brought him in with me? You could teach me while he and I are together—”
“No,” she snaps. Then she takes a deep breath and forces herself to give me a calm expression. “This isn’t about Clay, remember? I’m not teaching you how to be a Domme for him. I’m teaching you to be more dominant.”
