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“Yeah.” I press another kiss into her hair as she flicks her paper into the fire and watches it burn. I throw mine in next to hers and we sit listening to the crackling of the wood.
“Did you choose forgiveness because of what happened with Jasmin today? How did you even find out?”
I run my hand up and down Rose’s arm. She’s wearing my black hoodie again. It suits her. I hope she wears it forever.
“Through a friend. I asked around.”
Rose doesn’t ask who, and I’m relieved. I told her I won’t lie to her. And I won’t. But I can’t tell her who pulled strings for me. That in return for the favor I’m doing for them with regards to this big shipment that’s coming in, they looked at Jasmin’s phone records and pulled the name and number for me. I’m not proud of invading her privacy. But I would do it again in a heartbeat to know that she’s safe. No matter the cost. But it’s just another reminder that the other world I step inside is no place for Rose. She’s too good for it. She’s too good for any of it. She always has been.
“I chose forgiveness. But not only for Jasmin. Yeah, she lied.” I blow out a breath, willing the tension in my shoulders to leave me. Let me rest for one fucking second. “I chose it for me as well.”
Rose lifts her face to meet my eyes. “You?”
“Yeah.” I clear my throat. It’s felt thick and clogged all day. Like realization has sat there, forcing me to acknowledge it before it will allow me to breathe properly. “I’ve thought of one thing since I came out. And that’s the man who put me in there in the first place. But it’s more than that. Yeah, he was the cause of why I lost it that night. And he’s the reason the trial went the way it did, and I got a harsher sentence. But it was still me, Rose. I did it. I’m the reason Jasmin was left alone.”
She slides an arm around my waist, hugging me. “You want to know what else my dad used to say?”
“Sure.”
She gives me a small smile. “He used to say the best revenge is living your life and being happy. He told me that after Gareth ditched me.”
Just the name Gareth has me tensing. Rose must notice because she reaches up and strokes my neck. I dip my head and kiss her wrist.
“Your dad was a wise man.”
“Yeah. He was. What was yours like? You’ve told me about your mom, but you haven’t talked about him as much.”
“My dad?” I murmur, looking back at the fire as her fingertips trace over my bird tattoo. “He was… He was great. The best dad I could have hoped for. He met Mom when I was a baby, and he treated me like his own son. He gave us everything he could. He was always bringing Mom her favorite flowers and playing with me when he came home from work. He never raised his voice. Ever. He’d talk things out with me instead. Help me learn. Grow. When Jasmin was born, he told me how lucky we were to have two amazing women in our family. And how it was our job to love and protect them.”
“He sounds incredible.” Rose slides her hand away from my neck and finds my hand, interlacing our fingers.
“He was.” I try to ignore the thought that always enters my mind when I think about him, and about how calm he always was. How he never had a temper bubbling away below the surface.
I’m nothing like him.
“So are you.” Rose snuggles into my side.
I laugh softly.
“Believe it.” She turns to me, and the moment her eyes meet mine, my chest swells and I grab her face between my hands and kiss her.
“You’reincredible,” I whisper against her lips as she parts them, inviting me to kiss her deeply. “I wasn’t expecting you to come into my life.”
“I wasn’t expecting you either,” she breathes as I rest my forehead against hers. “I feel like I had to go through the past couple of years to bring me here. To meet you. Is that stupid?”
“It’s not stupid.” I stroke her cheeks with my thumbs as she blinks up at me. “It’s not stupid at all.”
Time stretches between us as we just look at each other, our shared breath in the tiny space between our lips.
“I…” Rose bites her bottom lip, her eyes searching mine. She doesn’t need to say anymore. I’m thinking the exact same.
I’ve loved her for a long time before we ever got to this point. I’m so in love with her that for the first time since I was released, I’m starting to understand what freedom might feel like. Freedom to live. Freedom to love. Freedom to leave the past behind.
I run my thumb across her bottom lip, swiping the pad against her teeth. “You’ve re-set time for me, Sunbeam. I didn’t even see how stuck I was, until you came along.”
I lean forward to kiss her again, but she gently pulls back, reaching to the bottom of my hoodie and pulling it up over her head. She holds my gaze as she silently takes her camisole off, and then unhooks her bra, discarding it on the grass.
“Can we stay outside a little longer?” She looks at me with a darkened gaze as the flames from the fire set shadows dancing over her breasts.
