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That’s the last thing I hear before his lips are on mine. He’s warm and God he smells so good, and my eyes drop closed as the world outside disappears.
It’s impossible to breathe as his lips mount mine and the pressure of his fingers between my legs intensifies. The rumble from his chest vibrates, shifting into a growl.
God, he’s kissing me,reallykissing me, and my body curls and shakes as he strums between my legs.
All the quiet shame I’ve carried about wanting this connection with a man wells up in me like long repressed grief. It’s been the secret I’ve carried and kept from even Brigid.
The dark thoughts and desperateacheI’ve felt for so long made me think there was something wrong with me. I’vewantedwith a wanting so deep and desperate that I pushed it away twice as hard.
I couldn’t let anyone see my weakness. I couldn’t admit, even to myself, that the depraved fantasies and dreams of an older man taking control could ever be real.
I know he’s too old for me, but my body doesn’t care.
Dietrich fills my mouth with his tongue, and it feels strange and exciting as tight moans catch in my throat. I don’t know what to do with my hands or how to breathe.
Our tongues lash and twist as he pushes deeper, the scrape of his short beard connecting with the soft skin around my mouth. His hard chest crowds me against the car as low, frustrated, desperate sounds fall from our lips. The reality, that I’m kissing a man older than my own father, heightens the curling tension below my belly button.
There’s so much wrong with what’s happening right now, but my clit thinks it’s a freaking Mardi Gras.
In fact, it’s begging for more…friction. I cock my hips into his touch the best I can, his massive body containing me in the confined space.
His low grunts stop and his tongue moves into the hollow of my cheek, then across the front of my teeth until he pulls back, his forehead furrowed and I feel a sharp stab to my chest thinking I’ve done something wrong.
“Was that okay?” I ask in a breathless gasp, barely recognizing myself. “Did I do it right?”
I’m so desperate for this stranger’s approval I get a glimpse of what it must be like to get lost in a part.
He’s not your father. He can’t fix the broken parts inside you from a lifetime of disappointment at the real man that was supposed to be your hero growing up.
“It was perfect, baby.” He withdraws his fingers and the loss of that magical strumming and his lips have me feeling empty. I’m addicted already and I feel like a carpet has been pulled from under my feet. “Now, I’m going to tell you more about how grown ups do other things. You may have heard things at school or from friends, but it’s time you learned what I want you to know about sex.”
Flames lick at my cheeks. The reality is our own father never hadthetalk with me and Brigid. It was simply never brought up and like so many other things, that responsibility as a father apparently didn’t apply to him.
“I know about…sex,” I stutter, but realize the truth is, I know the bare bones basics and I’m pretty sure Deitrich has parsed that out already.
“Is that so? And from where did you learn this information?”
Still corralled by his closeness, but with a quivering in my belly, I answer, “Books… mostly. Some friends at school.”
“Well, I can tell you that books and friends did not teach you what I’m going to teach you. And, I know it feels funny, but you don’t need to be embarrassed. You liked the kissing, didn’t you?” He brushes my hair behind my ear, his delicate touch surprising me as his eyes narrow, turning down toward my tits. “We’re going to do some show and tell. A little game to help you learn.”
“Okay.” It’s all I can manage, curious where the hard ass, take no prisoners Hannah has gone. Then I remind myself, I’m Jamie now, so anything goes…
“Good girl,” he says, like those words delight his tongue as the car moves through traffic and in a sudden shift of energy, his hands are on my hips, aligning me with his eyes as he curls the hem of my dress to my waist. “Take your panties off. We’re going to do some question and answers.”
I stall, frozen in the ice of his gaze as his thick fingers tuck the roll of my skirt into the belt holding it in place, exposing my bare thighs. The cool air conditioning hits the hot wetness on my underwear.
He tilts his head and I realize too late, he told me to do something…
“Did you forget you are to do as you are told?” Dietrich narrows his eyes, as my ability to communicate with my extremities seemingly evaporates. “Very well, I’ll do it myself. Daddy wants to see how pretty you are under your panties and I do not like to wait. You should know that by now, Jamie.”
In an abrupt tug, Dietrich whips my underwear down my legs, leaving them stretched between my ankles, which makes the whole moment feel filthier than if he’d removed them completely.
“I—” I stutter, my insides crocheting themselves together as his hands drive my knees apart with my ankles still cuffed by the white fabric.
“When you don’t do as you are told, it tries my patience, and I will take matters into my own hands. That can take many forms, little girl. But, for now, we will move on with your lesson. First, anatomy they don’t teach you in high school…do you know what a clitoris is, baby, andwhereit is?” His voice runs from hard to soft in the blink of an eye.
I nod. “Yes.”
