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“So all this time you haven’t held back because you’ve judged me for the past?”
“What? No. You think that?”
She shrugs again. “I don't know, Mav. We’ve never talked about it. Not really. Whenever I’ve tried, you’ve passed it off with ‘I’m trying to do right by you’ and then found a way to change the subject or leave the room.”
“Jesus, Doll. Is that what you really think?”
“What am I meant to think? You want me, I’ve seen—felt—the evidence. I have for years, but you won’t touch me. It’s like I’m pretty enough to look at but too fucked-up to touch.”
“That’s not—” I cough, needing to clear my throat as regret bubbles up, stopping me from talking. “Shit, Doll. That’s not it at all.”
“So,” she says, reaching over to place her empty mug on the coffee table. The tank falls away from her body, giving me a perfect side view of her tits that does little for my semi, and when she looks back, she finds me tugging at my pants. “Case in point,” she mutters, before crossing her legs beneath her and resting her hands in her lap. “So… go on. We have nothing else to do. You wanted to talk. Let’s talk. Openly. Honestly.”
I stare at her, the truth balancing right on the tip of my tongue.
“I’ve always wanted you. Even when you were too young to do anything about it,” I confess.
Her lips part to respond, but I continue before she can say anything.
“But that made me as bad as them. You were sixteen when I caught you in those woods trying to escape. You were sixteen. A child. I was twenty. A man. I had no right looking at you in any way other than as a child.”
“I wasn’t a child, Mav. I don’t even remember ever being one,” she manages to squeeze in.
“But that’s not the point.”
“So what is?”
“You deserved to be a kid. You deserved to eat ice cream for breakfast and cereal for dinner. You should have been able to run around the backyard in a swimsuit, without having someone perving at you, wondering how you looked without it. You should have been spending time with friends, talking about boys, having first kisses and movie dates, doing homework and pulling all-nighters to get assignments done. You should have been trying out for the cheer team and going to football games and parties and—”
Her fingers press against my lips, cutting off my tirade of all the shit she never got to experience.
“I know, Mav. Trust me, I know all that shit. Do I wish I had it? Yeah, honestly, I do wish I got to experience most of it. I’ve never had a friend oth—” My eyes widen as hurt slams into me. “Let me finish. I’ve never had a friend other than Kristie, and then you. I don’t know what it’s like to go to class, to skip, to hide behind the bleachers, or to experience my first kiss. I’ll never know what an awkward first time is like, or watch the football player I’m crushing on kill it on the field. But it’s okay.”
“No, Doll, it’s not. They fucked up your entire life, and I want you to have it, everything you missed I—”
“Mav,” she says, taking both of my hands in hers. “You have given me so much more than all those bullshit teenage experiences.”
Her glassy eyes search mine, begging me to hear her words and accept them.
Her bottom lip wobbles, but she continues nonetheless. “You’ve shown me how a man should love a woman. You’ve shown me what true friendship is about. You’ve given me laughter and happiness, and memories that don’t keep me up at night screaming. You gave me a home where I feel safe and a pair of arms that I know will hold me up and keep all my broken and shattered pieces together when all I want to do is fall apart.” She loses her fight with her tears and they finally break free from her lashes, landing on her cheeks with a splash. “You’ve made me feel worthy, beautiful, sexy, wanted—even if you won’t do anything about it,” she adds with a sad laugh. “You gave me my life, my body back, Mav. Never ever underestimate how much that means to me.”
I act on instinct, something I have never allowed myself to do with her before. My hand wraps around the back of her neck, tilting her where I want her before my lips land on hers.
Neither of us moves for long, painful seconds, but then she mimics my movement and wraps her hot hand around the side of my neck, and I snap.
My lips part, and hers instantly follow, and our tongues dart out, gently brushing together. We’re both hesitant, but then she shifts and throws her leg over my waist, settling herself on my lap, and my restraint shatters.
With one hand on her neck, the other drops to her waist, dragging her closer as my tongue plunges into her mouth and I kiss her like I’ve been imagining doing for years.
And it turns out that my imagination is shit because the reality is so much better than anything I’ve ever pictured.
32
JD
Isit beside Reid as Richie, the Ravens leader, and his two little bitches, stare at us like we’re furniture that doesn’t quite suit. Fitting, really, seeing as we’re in a warehouse with nothing but a desk and three chairs.
“You’re playing a very dangerous game here, little Harris. But you already know that, don’t you?” he asks, his forearms resting on the desk, his gun right there and already pointed right at my best friend. Not that Reid gives a shit. He hasn’t once glanced at it.
