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“Do you?” he asks, turning it back on me.
“If I knew who he was dealing with, I promise you, they’d all be dead.”
“Big promises for a man who can’t protect his wife.”
“Will you shut the fuck up?” I bark. I might feel like a massive fucking failure, but I really don’t need Reid rubbing it in my face every chance he gets.
I fucked up where Alana is concerned, and I’m unlikely to ever forget that she put herself back into the middle of her own nightmare.
“She did it to protect you,” Reid suddenly states. “That leads me to one question… what the fuck did you do that was bad enough to give your wife no choice but to open her legs for any cunt who was interested?”
All the air rushes out of my lungs at his question.
“That’s not important.”
“I beg to differ. Correct me if I’m wrong, but my father is one of the men that leaves your wife screaming in her sleep on a nightly basis. Whatever you did must be pretty fucking bad to send her back to him, let alone agree to work for him.”
“I want to see her. Please,” I beg, no longer caring about what he thinks of me.
I’ll get on my fucking knees if he lets me see her. Proves to me that his words about her being okay are true. From what I saw before he buried his bullet in my shoulder, she was far from fucking okay.
“You two are just as fucking stubborn as each other, you know that, right?”
I shrug one shoulder, not really giving a shit about his opinion of me.
“Wait,” I cry as he moves toward the door.
He pauses with his fingers wrapped around the metal that’s about to keep me in this place.
“I love her. I fucking love her more than anything. All I’ve ever wanted is to protect her. To give her justice. Everything else is just white fucking noise.”
“Well, you’re not the only one who wants her.” My heart sinks as I remember her calling out JD’s name as he made her come not so long ago. “And unless you’re willing to give me the information I want, you might never get a chance to give her anything.”
With those ominous words hanging in the air, he slips out of the cell and locks the door up behind him.
* * *
Iswear the roar of frustration that ripped from my lips the moment Reid locked the door behind him still echoes off the walls around me hours later.
No one else has been down to visit me. Not that I really expected it after the way our conversation ended, but still, something more than a fucking bottle of water and a cereal bar would be nice.
I sit on the bed with my feet planted on the floor on either side as I stare down at the notebook I found in here.
I know it’s hers. I’d recognize the ‘Keep out. Do not read.’ scrawled on the front cover anywhere. I’ve no idea why she does it. I’ve never even lifted a cover of one of her diaries. It’s not because I haven’t been tempted. In those early days, when she refused to say anything about what she’d endured at the hands of the men who her father deemed worthy of corrupting her, I almost did it.
She was so broken, so terrified of every bang and every shadow. I was desperate to help her, but I had no idea how to do so other than to keep her safe. I wanted to understand. I figured that if I at least knew some of the horrors, then it might give me an idea how she felt and what she might need.
I sat like I am now many, many times. The only difference is that I was always in her room, sitting in the chair in the corner, watching over her, waiting for the first blood-curdling scream to tear from her lips.
I wanted to know who haunted her. Was it Dad? Victor? Kurt? Others? Or all of them?
Now that I know most of it, thinking of them in a room with her turns my stomach.
If it were as simple as pulling a trigger and taking them all down, then I’d have done it the day I discovered the truth.
But it’s not that easy. Nothing ever is.
Killing them without proper planning would be a death sentence. With me gone, there would be no one left to show her how life could really be. I wanted to give her that more than anything else in my life.
