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19
ALANA
Istartle when a bottle of vodka and three glasses land on the counter in front of me.
Reid pours three shots for us, but while they both reach for theirs and throw them back, I keep my hands knotted in my lap.
I don’t want to do this.
I really don’t want to fucking do this.
But there is no other option.
I’ve fought against them. Against Reid’s demands for the truth. I’ve suffered the pain of refusing. But really, it was always going to end here.
I was never going to win against these men.
These Hawks.
That’s not how my life goes.
I’m ruled by men. Held captive by men. Had and continue to have my body played by men.
The two standing in front of me now might be different from those of my past, but not in every way.
“What you said upstairs yesterday,” I start, forcing myself to look up and meet Reid’s cold, hard eyes head on. I want to be strong. To show them that I can fight just as well as they can, but I fear this is about to break me. “You were right. Your father was the first person my dad gave me to. He’d been abusing me for years, but I didn’t know any different. Until the night I was told to be a good girl for Victor, like I was for Daddy.”
Silence.
Acid swirls in my stomach as two horrified faces stare back at me in disbelief.
They both knew what I was hiding. Reid spelled it out pretty well yesterday, but saying words out loud. Hearing them in my own voice in a way I’ve never said them before is akin to taking a knife to my own chest.
My heart races, pounding so hard, thundering inside my chest that I’m sure it’s trying to escape. And despite how tightly knitted my fingers are, my hands tremble uncontrollably as I await a response.
But it doesn’t come. Well, not until there is a squeak of the stool JD is sitting on and he moves around behind me.
The second his arms wrap around my waist, and he tucks his face into my neck, breathing me in, holding me together, I nearly break.
I’ve come so fucking close to lettingthemwin.
I’ve confessed to the very minimum; yet, they still want to take control. They want me so weak and disgusted that I’ll keep their twisted secrets.
His warmth surrounds me, his strength immediately holding me up.
I swallow down the lump that crawled up my throat and blink back the tears.
He holds me tighter than he has before, and when I find Reid’s tormented eyes, I can’t help but wonder if JD is hugging me tight enough for both of them.
Reid’s chest lifts and falls steadily. Too steadily. It’s as if he’s having to focus on every breath to keep himself under control.
I swallow thickly, before continuing. There’s no point leaving it there. What I just confessed wasn’t news to them, just confirmation.
“That was just the beginning, though. There were more, so many more.”
“Dove,” JD whispers, sending goose bumps racing down my neck.
“I’m okay,” I lie, finally untangling my fingers and laying my hands over his.
