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I did my best not to groan. “Hi, Aunt Louise.”
She swept into the living room and sat on the edge of an ottoman. “I hear you were quite the gentleman last night. Tell me everything.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Don’t be so modest. You certainly moved up a few spots on the bachelor hierarchy.”
My brow furrowed. “What’s the bachelor hierarchy? On second thought, never mind. I don’t want to know.”
“It’s just an unofficial ranking system of eligible Tilikum men.”
“I said I didn’t want to know.”
“We’ve divided it into age brackets,” Louise said, ignoring me. “And points are given for things like job stability, hygiene, style, and personality.”
“That’s kind of messed up. You know that, right?”
She waved off my comment. “It’s all in good fun. And our wagers are never for money.”
“You’re betting on this stuff?” I turned to my mom. “Do you know about this?”
Mom shrugged. “Aunt Louise and her friends generally leave me out of it.”
“You still have too many bachelor sons to be properly unbiased,” Louise said, as if this were all perfectly reasonable. “So, tell me about the new girl in town. I saw her coming out of Happy Paws the other day, but I haven’t had the chance to meet her yet.”
“Her name’s Audrey,” I said. “She has a dog.”
Aunt Louise watched me with raised eyebrows. “And?”
“What?”
“Come on, Josiah, don’t be stubborn.”
What did she want me to say? She’s frustratingly sexy? I’m annoyed with myself for thinking about her all the time?
I stood and took my plate to the kitchen. “I barely know her.”
“This is the problem with men. Especially Haven men. Not the best communicators.”
Mom set her tea kettle on the stove with a laugh. “Isn’t that the truth.”
“Hey,” Dad said.
“We both know you speak half-English, half-caveman.” Mom moved closer and gave him a quick kiss. “Fortunately, I speak both.”
He grunted.
Mom shook her head with a soft laugh.
I took advantage of the momentary break in the conversation to head for the front door. Dad seemed fine and Mom and Aunt Louise had plenty of town gossip to keep them busy.
“Bye, honey,” Mom called.
I paused at the door and held my hand up. “Bye.”
Bachelor hierarchy? I shook my head as I walked out to my truck. It figured there would be a bachelor hierarchy in Tilikum.
And I was not going to ask how I compared to any of my brothers. I didn’t even want to know.
