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Now that puts a smile on my face. That is, until a thought hits me. “Wait, why didn’t you say anything?”
“What was I supposed to do, Mitch? Introduce myself when you moved to town and ask you out?”
Her question seems like a reasonable course of action when you’re interested in someone, but her tone tells me that’s not how she feels. “Um…no?”
“Right, no. I saw the women in town fawn over you. I can’t compete with them. I’m a bookworm florist that prefers a night in over crowds. I don’t like a lot of noise. I don’t like drama.” She stops, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. “You know what? Maybe this is a mistake.”
Her hand grips my thigh tighter, like she’s forgotten it’s there. Blood rushes through my veins, heart pumping in my ears. Surely she can’t be suggesting what I think she is.
“Hold on. Why is this a bad idea? Do you mean us?”
She opens her eyes and I hate the tears that well in them. “We’re too different.”
“Who cares?” I stop myself from raising my voice any more than I already have. Her eyes dart around the room, looking to see if anyone noticed us. I don’t care. Let them hear how I feel about her, but I lower my voice, knowing it makes her feel uncomfortable.
“Rachel, listen to me. I know you think all of those things are reasons we shouldn’t be together, but I think they are the reasons weshouldbe.”
She gives me a quizzical look. “Please explain.”
“Those women that you say were ‘fawning over’ me? They’re a dime a dozen. They just want something new and shiny in town. They didn’t care about me. To be honest, I didn’t give them the time of day. I was kind and flirted a little because of my job, but I had no interest in them and I didn’t date any of them. In fact, I would always go to Kelowna to meet women, and even then, they were only hook ups.”
“Oh.” Her shoulders drop, her gaze looks down at the table.
I cup her cheek, bringing her eyes back to mine. “I love that you’re a bookworm—and florist. I’ve been listening to the book I gave you, you know? It’s not that bad.”
“I may have heard about that.” The corner of her mouth ticks up in the most adorable smile.
“Did you now?”
“Yeah, Mandy said the guys were giving you a hard time about it.”
“I can handle the guys,” I chuckle. “As for everything else, once I leave the brewery, I don’t like noise or crowds. I keep to myself, stay in my apartment, and watch sports and movies. I think I might even take up reading now that a pretty blonde has gotten me into it.”
That makes her smile, the edge of sadness taken off.
“See, that’s what I think makes us perfect. We balance each other. You can be my calm. I’ll be your chaos.”
“You’re not that chaotic.”
“No, but my work is.” I take her hands in mine, caressing them with my thumbs. “What I’m saying is that our opposites work for us. When I come and pick you up from work, it’s not that I just look forward to seeing you, which I do, but it’s my moment of quiet in my day. It’s when I get to just sit with my girl and be still, and that’s so incredibly important to me. You’re important to me.”
Sheila appears and slides our dinners in front of us. We turn and face our plates, me with the jalapeño bacon burger, Rachel with the Greek chicken wrap. It pains me to know that she feels that way, that she’s somehow not ‘enough.’ I’ve lived in Logan Creek for years, and I’m now kicking myself that I didn’t take it upon myself to get to know her sooner. I could have been the one to approach her. I could have asked her out earlier. To be honest, a woman like her intimidates me. She’s a forever girl.
But maybe I’m ready for that.
17
RACHEL
We’re standing on my porch, holding hands under the light. I’m not ready for the night to end. We’re both exhausted and we’re going to see each other tomorrow, but I can’t help it. I don’t want to let him go.
“Do you want to come in?” I ask hesitantly.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he says, his eyes searching mine.
“Right.” Of course, why would that be a good idea? I made a fool out of myself at dinner, questioning why he asked me out. We both ate in relative silence after that, almost as if he was rushing to get through the meal. I have to admit, I was rushing, too.
I wish I knew what he was thinking right now. I want to end the tension between us.
