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I roar as I jump off the bed. My senses return. Christ. I went full beast. Idon’tlose control like that. Nobody has ever made me lose control. Never even come close.
I quickly pull up my pants. My shaft aches as if my seed is angry at me for tasting her clit, her juices, and not sliding down to her hole. I stare down at her, my eyes adjusting to the light. Her belly is slightly red. Her thighs glimmer with her release. Her nipples are full and red, too. I’ve used her. I’ve indulged all the darkest parts of myself.
Turning away, I make for the door. What the hell is wrong with me? I was right.Shewas right. I’m a bad, bad man.
CHAPTERELEVEN
Lena
I stand in the bathroom in my underwear, looking down at the faint redness on my belly. I haven’t been able to sleep. It’s beenhours. It’s almost morning. If my mind wasn’t on Mom, it was on what I did with her ex: the weirdly pleasurable spanking—normal and otherwise—and how he lost control. I wanted it. I almost let myself do it.
Then I remembered Mom’s smile in the video when she mentioned Jamie. I couldn’t go through with it after having that in my mind, even for a second. Jamie was like a wild animal. His cock wasmassive. I’ve got no frame of reference, but it was so big it bobbed at the end like it was too heavy. Huge.
Even his finger had felt big and so good, especially at the end, but big. How would I ever…
Maybe Jamie’s right. I need punishment. This is the last thing I should be thinking about right now. I need answers. When Jamie saves Mom, I’ll have to do something so difficult. I’ll have to pretend this never happened and turn Jamie back into a crush.
My belly is still sore, but only a little. I run my hand over it again. Maybe other women would freak at how he behaved, but I felt weirdly privileged. I’m not sure that’s the right word—maybe lucky he was showing this part of himself to me. It’s not exactly special since he already showed it to Mom.
As I have a shower, I think about the look Mom would get when Jamie was on his way. That light in her eyes.“I wonder where he’s going to take me. He always plans the best dates.”I’d nod and smile and go along with it. I can’t imagine the Jamie I know planning the dates he took Mom on: the cinema, restaurants, and even the theater.“We just have so much fun. I think that’s what I’ve been missing—fun!”
Jamie is the only man Mom has been with since Dad died—the only one. She loved Dad so much, and Jamie, for a brief time, was the only person who could break down her barriers. I stand on the bathmat, gently stroking my belly. It’s still sore. His eyes werealightwhen he did it. He found it so hot, which somehow made me find it hot, too. This man who brightened my mom’s life and changed her world…
I splash cold water on my face. Mom will be home soon. I’ve had to push down my feelings all my life. After Dad died, Mom just lounged around on the couch. No, that’s not fair. She was depressed. She was basically catatonic, and the booze didn’t help. Still, I can do the same now. Swallow how I feel, pretend earlier didn’t happen.
* * *
It’s hard to pretend when I walk into the living area and see Jamie standing shirtless at the kitchen counter. His black-silver hair is messy, almost wild, and the clear cuts in his arm muscles catch the electric light. The sun hasn’t risen yet.
He looks over and winces. He gets the same look on his face he got last night after he went into full crazy mode. When he rubbed his manhood against my clit, I wanted it so, so badly. Even if he’s huge. Even if it might initially hurt, something inside me called out to do it, but then came the thought of Mom.
“I didn’t think you’d be up yet,” he says.
“Couldn’t sleep,” I reply, walking to the kitchen bar and sitting. “I was thinking about last night. You never gave me any answers.” I think about the name of the website. “OrThe Answer, I should say.”
“You shouldn’t have snooped.”
“Well, I’m all spanked out right now, Jamie, so why don’t you tell me something?”
He stops whisking, putting the bowl down. When he rests his hands on the table, every muscle in his bare arms bulge. His chest swells. I keep my hands under the bar, where he can’t see them, so he can’t catch me fidgeting. “You’re so, so fiery.”
“And you’re so, so bad,” I counter, remembering how he looked when I said that last night.
“If you really want to know, ask,” he grunts, turning his back to me and switching on the gas stove.
“What isThe Answer?” I ask as I look at his turned back, thick with layer upon layer of powerful muscle.
“Some shit went down as I was a kid. Jack—the man you saw in the photo—was sort of a father figure to me because of the aforementioned shit.”
“Very specific.”
He turns and glares at me. His blue eyes have effects on me they’ve got no right to. “I won’t tear open my chest and give you my heart on a platter. I’ll tell you about my work. I’ll tell you what led there. I’ll even tell you about the wallet, even if it makes you hate me, but not before. Not the flames.”
Before I can respond, he turns his back, almost as if he regrets saying anything. He pours the eggs into the pan and moves them around almost aggressively with a spatula—theflames. I want to know everything about him, especially when my body is still sore from our closeness, but I must pick my battles.
“Okay, Jamie. I understand.”
His back shifts up and down as he sighs. “After everything that went down, Jack wanted to teach me how to defend myself. He taught me how to shoot, hunt, and fight. I enlisted in the Navy at eighteen and became a SEAL. Those skills helped when Jack found his new gig.”
