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When he came out a few minutes later, I was sat up and leaning against the headboard. “You know, anyone would think you were the straight one if they could see how you run away after waking up with me.”
Kai rolled his eyes, prowling over to my coffee machine. “You say that like you want to keep snuggling.”
“Wouldn’t mind,” I sniffed before catching myself. What was wrong with me? Why was I acting so butt-hurt?
I couldn’t help it. I felt…rejected.
Kai turned to face me, leaning back against the console table with his big hands wrapped around his mug. “Do I need to remind you that you’re straight? Wanting tosnugglewith other men doesn’t exactly scream that.”
Something in his tone niggled at me. It was like he was…challenging me somehow. “Wow. Talk about subscribing to toxic masculinity.”
Kai didn’t respond other than to raise an eyebrow as he sipped his coffee.
“I’m confident in my sexuality,” I said, unable to stop myself rising to the bait. “Wanting affection from afrienddoesn’t change that. If we’re going down the toxic route, I’ll remind you that what I was doing in this bed a few hours ago proves I’m very much straight.”
Kai stared at me, his face totally expressionless. “You fucked her in that bed?”
“Obviously.” I mean, what else did he expect? People didn’tactuallyfuck up against walls or over tables. That shit only existed in books and movies. “Where else would I have fucked her?”
Kai put his barely-touched coffee on the side table, turning his back to me. Without a shirt, I could see every tense muscle in his broad back.
For some reason, I wished I could call my flippant words back. Jesus, how would I like it if Kai pointed out he’d fucked someone else on the same sheets I’d then slept on. Aside from anything else, it was plain rude.
There was a gross feeling in my stomach, sliding through my veins as Kai’s muscles knotted tighter.
“Kai, I—”
“I need to get ready,” he interrupted me, already striding for the door. “I’ll see you at sound check.”
“Wait,” I said, scrambling to get to my feet. The sheets twisted around my legs, slowing me down. I cursed as I struggled to get free. “Kai, can we—”
The sound of the door clicking shut told me I was too late.
Chapter nine
Kai
Logically,IknewIhad no right to be upset with Silas.
But logic had left the conversation a long time ago where he was concerned.
Whenever he called me in the middle of the night, I went running. He needed me, and I’d be there without question. Realistically, I’d do the same for any of my bandmates.
Would I cuddle Luca or Arlo back to sleep? Hold them close to keep the nightmares at bay? Possibly not.
But it wasSilas,and he was hurting. How could I not?
The reminder that I’d slipped between sheets still warm from his latest conquest was something I could’ve lived without. Sure, it was a bit gross, but that wasn’t why the knowledge had socked me in the gut.
I won’t lie that when Silas mentioned cuddling, I couldn’t help myself. It wasn’t that I genuinely believed snuggling with another man made you any less straight, more that I was desperate for any indication that Silas felt the same.
But he didn’t. The words he’d flung my way shortly after proved that.
I let myself back into my empty room and leaned back against the closed door. The heartbreak choking me bubbled free.
And it hit me then how many times I’d done this. Rushed to an empty room before letting my feelings free. Cried over a man who’d never be mine. One who was unwittingly breaking my heart over and over again.
I buried my face in my hands, the sound rasping from my lips amplified. How many more times could I do this to myself?
