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Oblivious to my internal struggle, Silas moved away. Only when he came up behind me did I realise the song had changed.
Luca dropped to his knees, my heart falling to the floor at the same time.
“Tease,” a.k.a. my own personal version of Hell.
Silas’s hands came around my chest, his lips pressing against my neck. I stiffened. Did he realise his lips were touching me, or had he just got caught up in the moment?
My hands moved on autopilot. Silas kept ghosting barely there kisses up my neck until he reached my ear. Then, with a single finger, he pulled out my earpiece.
The roar of the crowd hit me like a blast. Apparently, they were enjoying the attention Silas was lavishing on me as much as my cock was.
“What’s wrong?” he shouted into my ear.
I shook my head, keeping my smile on my face and my fingers moving.
“Don’t lie to me,” he insisted, his arm going around my chest to hold me firmly against him. To the audience, it probably looked like he was whispering sweet nothings in my ear. “You don’t lie to me, Kai. What’s wrong?”
My stomach twisted. I lied to him. I lied to him every fucking day. Every time I looked into his eyes and called him my friend. Every time I held him at night and wished for more. Every time I fucked someone and imagined it was him beneath me instead.
And now, I’d lie once again. Pulling out of his grip, I shot him an exaggerated wink and put my earpiece back in.
He gave me an exasperated look. One he’d given memanytimes before.
Striding away during Arlo’s drum solo, I clapped my hands above my head, getting the crowd to join.
I could feel Si watching me. Feel his confusion.
This is why you’re leaving,I told myself. It was what was best.
For both of us.
When I turned my back to the audience, Silas wasn’t the only one watching me. Arlo was tracking me, his mouth set in a grim line.
I up-nodded him. Of all of them, he knew what I was feeling.
I kept my distance from Silas for the next song. My skin buzzed like my bodyknewI was about to rip us away from him. Begging me not to. Begging me to use this one chance we had to touch him and not feel guilt or shame.
I held out all through “Deep Down,” but when we segued into “Night’s Darkest Secret,” my resolve began to crack.
Luca took my guitar, shooting me a concerned look that matched Arlo’s expression. Fuck. I needed to get myself under control before the audience noticed.
Normally, this was the one song where I invaded Silas’s space. Where I’d be the one to touch and tease.
Tonight, I’d planned on keeping my distance. But as I rasped out the opening line, it became clear my best friend had other ideas.
He appeared before me, his lip pushed out in an exaggerated pout. Even with both my earpieces in, I could hear the roar of the crowd intensify.
Silas raised a brow, and the fracture in my resolve turned into a cavern, leaving it in pieces on the floor.
Without thinking, I spun Silas around, hooking my head over his shoulder, holding him tight with my free arm. He melted into my embrace, leaning his weight onto me and letting me support him.
Why can’t you see,
I’m right here, yet you miss me every time
You’re supposed to be with me
Yet you miss me every time
