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“I’ve got it,” Kai cut me off. “I think we need to set clearer boundaries. Maybe spend some time apart. I think everything between us is too…blurred.”
“What?” Why was he talking about spending time apart? What the fuck had I done?
Everything was moving too fast. I needed to pause time for a second so I could think. Think about why I’d kissed him. Why it’d felt so right.
And why the fuck it had made him somadat me.
“I’m leaving after the show,” Kai continued. I struggled to hear him over the high-pitched shriek that had taken up residence in my brain. “I’ve taken a film role in an indie movie. I’ll be shooting on location in Mexico.”
“Okay,” I said, my brain scrambling to catch up. “I’ve got that charity gig next week, but after that, I can fly out and join you.”
“No.” Apparently, Kai had become very friendly with the spot six inches above my head, seeing as he couldn’t look away from it. “I mean it, Si. We need to spend some time apart. I need some…space.”
“Space from me?” I reached up to rub at my chest. Why was it hurting? Surely I couldn’t be having a heart attack at thirty-five?
Kai sighed heavily. “It’ll be good for both of us.”
“Right. Love that you’re making decisions for us both without consulting me.” Where had that ice in my voice come from? “Didn’t realise our friendship was something you needspacefrom.”
Something I said finallyfinallymade him look at me. “Friendship…that’s what we have.”
“That’s right,” I said desperately. “I need you, Kai. You’re my best friend. You can’t leave me.”
He gave me a tight smile, and there wasn’t an ounce of the man I knew in it. I felt like I was looking at a stranger, one who was struggling just to be in my presence. “I have my own life, Silas. It’s time I lived it.”
I couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand to look at him anymore. I turned away, pretending I was examining the snack selection. In reality, I could barely see through the tears clouding my vision. “I hadn’t realised I was holding you back.”
Kai’s hand dusted over my shoulder, like he’d reached out to touch me and then decided against it. “This is for the best. You’ll see.”
I sniffed, swiping at my face with my hand in mortification. “Sure.”
“Silas.” The pain in Kai’s voice grabbed my emotions in a chokehold. I wouldn’t hurt him. He was the one person who’d kept me safe. I’dneverhurt him.
Drawing up my carefree grin, I turned to face him. His haunted expression almost had me slipping. Almost. “Sounds like a great opportunity. You’ll have to send me lots of pictures.”
“Silas.” He reached for me, but I skirted around his hold and made for the door. “Are you okay?”
“Yep.” I yanked open the door to see a gaggle of hassled crew bickering. “Sorry, guys, we’re just coming to finish the show.”
I glanced back at Kai and grinned once more. “Come on, let’s get this done so you can get on your way.”
Kai was rigid in the centre of the room, all his muscles tense. “Si—”
“Leave it,” I said sharply, all too aware of the many watching eyes. Something I should’ve been aware of before launching us into this mess. “Come on, I promise to behave myself.”
I didn’t give him a chance to respond.
I went back on stage.
Took my bass from Luca.
Apologised to the audience.
Played my heart out.
And didn’t look at Kai once.
But it didn’t stop me thinking about him. How right that kiss had felt. How desperately I wanted to grab him to see if it had been a fluke.
