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Not when he’d fucked off to the back of beyond for four months.
Not when he’d ghosted me.
Not when he’d thrown my feelings back in my face.
All those things had hurt me. Cut me so deep that the pain was almost visceral. But I hadn’t beenangry. If Kai had harboured feelings for me all these years, it would explain his behaviour.
However, leaving my room to see him kissing Tristan? Telling him he’d doanythingfor him?
After he’d spent the night with me?
Yeah. I was fucking pissed. Furious, even.
Kai had told me Tristan wasn’t his boyfriend, and like a fool, I’d believed him. I never would’ve gone there last night if I’d thought otherwise.
The scene I’d unwittingly stumbled across this morning revealed the truth. I wasn’t sure what had hurt more. The kiss Kai had given Tristan’s cheek, or the words I’d heard from the other man’s mouth.
You’re the best boyfriend I could’ve asked for.
I wanted Kai to be mine…but clearly, he belonged to someone else.
Thank god there’d been an Uber outside. No idea who it was supposed to have been for, but I’d felt no guilt in pinching it. The driver had been booked to go to a hotel a few streets from my house, which worked out perfectly.
My phone buzzed in my hand, making my heart race. When I glanced at the screen, it wasn’t Kai’s name, but Arlo’s.
“Yeah?”
“Good morning to you too.”
Arlo sounded like he was barely awake. “Why are you calling me so early?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” he muttered as he stifled a yawn. “Just wanted to see if you need a lift this afternoon.”
I froze. “What’s happening this afternoon?”
“We’re booked in for our first session at the studio. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.”
Of course I’d forgotten. I leaned my head against the cool window. “Do I have to go?”
“Umm…yeah? We can hardly write without you there.”
I snorted. “Come on, we all know I’m not a lyricist.”
“But you’re a part of the band. We need your input on the instrument side.” He paused. “Why are you being weird about this? Has something happened?”
It hit me then that it wasn’t just losing Kai that was at risk here…but the whole band. My career. Mylife.
If I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as Kai…how would we continue as part of Caffeine Daydreams?
Fuck. I wish I’d thought of this before going down this road. Call me naïve and big-headed, but I hadn’t honestly expected this to happen. I’d stupidly thought Kai and I would get together and start living happily ever after.
I was wrong though. Fairy tales hadn’t existed in my childhood, and they sure as shit didn’t exist now.
My head spun. This was just too much to take in all at once. Maybe I just needed to get through today. With Arlo and Luca there, along with our producer and manager, it was unlikely Kai would say anything anyway. All I had to do was get through the session, then I could hightail it out of there.
Until then, I could be a goddamned professional. The most professional musician to ever musician.
Without speaking to Kai.
