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“Of course you are. It’s your thing.” I heaved out a long breath. “If I end up in the love pit but he doesn’t join me there, well, it’ll be hard. But I don’t foresee myself experiencing any regrets. I mean, I walked into this marriage knowing that he didn’t envision himself ever caring for me that way—he wouldn’t have otherwise put a ring on my finger. So I’m prepared for that future.”
“Personally? I think you’ll both be ten inches deep in that love pit you mentioned.” He paused, watching me closely. “I’m going to say something that you might not like hearing.”
I frowned. “Okay.” The word came out edged in wariness.
He leaned forward, resting his lower arms on the table. “I was around when you were with Lake. I saw you two together. Heard the way you talked about and to him. You loved him, I know. But … I never felt like he was the great love of your life, Addie. I never had a moment where I thought you’d found the person you’d spend the rest of your days with.”
I tensed, my gut clenching. “Brooks—”
“Let me finish,” he pled, his voice soft. “When someone dies, we often toot their horn in a major way. We talk of them in glowing terms, remember all their best attributes, and forget about their faults. Right?”
I sighed and reluctantly admitted, “Sometimes, that can happen, yes.”
“And if they suffered before or when they died, it makes us even more likely to put them on a pedestal—I know that from personal experience. I did the same when my dad passed. Truth be told? He was a dick most of the time. But I felt guilty admitting that to myself, so I shoved it aside and clung to the good memories.”
“Lake wasn’t a dick.”
“No, he wasn’t,” Brooks immediately agreed. “But maybe you see the good memories you have of him through a magnified, rose-tinted lens. Maybe you’ve forgotten the other things. Like how he sometimes put you down. Like how he could get ugly when jealous. Like how he prioritized his friends over you right up until he learned about the tumor.”
I bit into the inside of my cheek. Shit, I really didn’t want to reflect on all this. Because I couldn’t actually claim that Brooks was wrong … and that made me feel like crap. “Okay, maybe I have clung tight to the good memories. But there are more good than bad.”
“I’m not saying there aren’t,” he said, lifting a placating hand. He then pointed at the table with one finger as he added, “But ask yourself this: Did you think Lake was your one great true lovebeforehe died?”
I went to say, yes, of course I did. But, honestly … “I don’t remember.” Facing that,fuck, it was like I’d had the breath knocked out of me. I sat up straighter and put a hand to my twisting stomach.
Brooks gave me a bland smile. “I could sit here and have a similar conversation with Dax about Gracie, only there’s no point because he’d stare at me blankly and not say a word.”
I felt my brows pull together. “What do you mean you could have a similar conversation with him?”
Brooks scratched at his nape. “Look, people talk of how tight he and Gracie were. They loved each other for sure, but they weren’t tight, Addie.” He shook his head. “Their relationship wasn’t solid. How could it have been? He didn’t fully trust her. She knew it, and it ate at her. She made him pay for it in small, passive-aggressive ways.”
I blinked. “I never heard about the last part. Though … Mimi likes to say that her sister wasn’t ‘so perfect.’”
“Nobody is, are they? But the fact is that people speak of Gracie like she was a freaking saint. She had a sweet disposition for certain. But she also had her faults, just like everyone else. She and Dax had their problems, just like every other couple. And, genuinely, I don’t think she was the great love of his life any more than I think Lake was yours.”
Feeling a weight settle on my chest, I licked my lips. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I sensed something tonight. Something I hadn’t expected.” Brooks propped his elbows on the table. “Dax trusts you—it’s right there in the way he talks about and to you; in how close he sits to you; in how relaxed his body is while near you. The man is not one bit on his guard around you. I don’t know if you realize how much of a big deal that is.”
“I do realize,” I said, absently rubbing my thigh. “I’ve seen for myself how deep his trust issues run. There were so many occasions where he seemed taken aback that I’d defended him or stood by him or backed him or whatever. He’d often look wary and suspicious at times, like he couldn’t bring himself to believe I was someone he could count on. I thought maybe we’d never get to the point we’re at now, but we have.”
“And that’s huge, Addie. There are people who’ve been in his life for decades—including me—who don’t have his trust. It’s not often that he lets people close enough to earn it. With you, he did. You have something from him that Gracie never did, so don’t go letting people convince you that you’ll always play second fiddle to her.”
“I’m notconvincedof it, I’m just not going to hope for too much.”
“I get that. And maybe you’re right to be leery. Maybe I’m wrong to think you’ll both declare your love for each other at some point. But, Addie, if youdofind yourself in a situation where you feel more for him than he does for you, don’t let it eat at you. Remember what youdohave; remember that you’ve won something he gives rarely. Remember that—” Brooks stopped speaking at the sound of footfalls.
Moments later, Dax slowly ambled outside. His eyes narrowed as he took in my too-bright smile and how Brooks was now looking alloverlycasual. “Something wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nope.” My response was just a little too cheery.
“Not at all,” Brooks assured him. “I was just trying to convince her to run away with me. I know it makes me greedy, since I already have two partners, but you know what they say about three being a crowd.”
Dax stared at him, making it clear with his doubtful expression that he wasn’t buying Brooks’ bullshit reply. “It’s a good thing Brittany wasn’t here to hear that—she’d have your balls for even joking about it.”
Brooks gave a dramatic wince. “Probably. She’s a vicious little thing. But who says I’m joking?”
“I am.” Dax sank onto the sofa, retaking his previous spot right beside me, and draping his arm over the back of it. “And if you weren’t, you’d be wasting your breath. Addison wouldn’t leave me.” He said it with such conviction it made me smile.
