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“Liar. Now get out. I have an event proposal to type up.”
I spent the rest of my morning sending and answering emails or making and taking calls. There were always meetings to arrange, appointments to schedule, and vendors or clients that I needed to follow-up with. My focus was somewhat shit, since I had Dax’s words dancing around my head.
That focus didn’t improve in the afternoon as I went scouting venues with Sabrina, or when I later spent more time in my office handling emails and phone calls. Hating that I wasn’t able to fully concentrate, I was glad when my workday reached its end.
Once I’d compiled my to-do list for the following day, I headed home. Walking into the living room, I found Alicia lounging on the sofa, her fingers tapping the keys of her laptop. “I need your help making a pros and cons list,” I said, no hellos.
Her gaze briefly darted to me. “Pros and cons to what?” she asked, resuming typing.
“To whether or not I should marry Dax Mercier.”
And the laptop almost slid off her lap. “What inthe fuck?” she burst out, her eyes wide. “He proposed to you?”
“Sort of.” I braced my satchel beside an armchair and then sank into it. “Back when I was young and stupid, I laughingly made a pact with him that we’d get married if we were both single when I turned thirty. He’s holding me to it. Mostly because, essentially, he’s done with dating and wants to take control of where his life is going.”
Gaping, she placed her laptop on the coffee table. “And you’re considering this?” The question was empty of judgement.
“I wasn’t at first. But some of the stuff he said and the questions he threw at me really got me thinking.”
She scooted forward on her seat. “What kind of things did he say?”
“He asked where I saw myself in five years, and the question hit me hard. Look, I’m grateful for all I have—my family, my friends, my business, my home. I never take any of it for granted. But what Ididtake for granted was that I’d be married with kids at this point in my life. You know me. I visualize what I want. I work toward it. And I go for it.”
“You usually always get it.”
“Not this time, though. This isn’t something I’ve been able to make happen. I’ve tried. Hard. But it’s something you can’t force.” I rubbed at my temple. “I didn’t realize I’d started to give up on meeting someone until I found myself contemplating going down the sperm donor route.”
Her lips parted in surprise. “You never told me that.”
“I never told anybody that. The point is I’m almost thirty, and I don’t have the things Ireallywant in life. Who’s to say my situation will be any different in five years unless Imakeit happen?”
She bit into the inside of her cheek. “You could still meet someone between now and then.”
“I could. But I might not.”
“Wait, I thought Dax doesn’t want kids.”
“It seems he changed his mind,” I said with a slight shrug. “I’m not saying I’ll definitely do it. But I do need to look at this from every angle. I need to identify every pro and con. And I’m really, really hoping you’ll help me with it.”
Alicia slowly dipped her chin. “Then that’s what I’ll do.”
I felt my shoulders droop in relief. “Thank you.” I plucked a notepad and pen from my satchel and then sat beside her on the couch. “Right. To properly do this, we both need to be as objective as possible.”
“Okay. You’ll be doing most of the thinking, because you know him better than I do, so I’ll do the writing.” She took the pen and pad from me, drew a vertical line, and then added the titles “pros” and “cons.” She cleared her throat and sat up a little straighter. “Let’s start with the pros.”
“I won’t have to worry that he’ll cheat—he’s far too loyal for that, and he’d see it as disrespecting us both.”
She scribbled “trust” on the list. “What else?”
“I’ll finally have the thing I want most without the use of a sperm donor.”
“A true pro,” she said, writing my point down. “Not that there’s anything wrong with using sperm donors. I would just rather you weren’t raising a child alone. Being a single parent can’t be anything close to easy.” A smile tugged at her mouth. “You know, you two would make cute babies. That should go on the pros list. I mean, who wants an ugly baby?”
I frowned. “No babies are ugly.”
“If you say so.”
Once she’d finished jotting down “cute babies,” I went on, “Unlike with some of the guys in my past, it won’t be an issue for Dax that I have money.”
