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Seeing her cuddle the infant, her face awash with pure joy, Dax felt warmth flare in his chest. Before marrying her, he’d wanted children. But now it was a different kind of “want.” Because now it wasn’t merely about having kids, it was about having themwith Addison.About the journey of the pregnancy, about seeing her belly swollen with his baby, about watching her hold them the way she now did Hudson.
“I don’t need to ask what’s going through your head right now,” said Jag beside him, pulling him out of his ruminations.
Dax spared him a quick glance. “I don’t need to ask what’s going through yours.” He’d caught Jag discreetly eyeing Alicia when her attention was elsewhere—and vice versa.
Jag’s jaw firmed. “Leave it.”
Dax shrugged. “You want to deprive yourself of what you want, that’s your business.” But that wasn’t Dax’s style—hence why he’d set out to convince Addison to marry him in the first place, unwilling to consider that he’d fail.
She wasn’t the type he usually went for, but she’d snatched his attention the first time he saw her over a decade ago. It was that indifferent, unattainable vibe she gave off. She didn’t enter a room and wonder if anyone was looking at her; didn’t make a single move that was designed to snare a man’s focus—there was no artifice, no mask, no vanity, no games.
And he’d been determined to have her.
So he’d had her, having no clue that he’d grow so possessive; having no clue that the possessiveness wouldn’t fade when their fling ended and she walked away.
And having no clue that they’d one day honor their fallback marriage pact.
Though he’d been serious when agreeing to the pact all those years ago, he hadn’t expected to ever consider acting on it; hadn’t thought it would come to that. He’d believed they’d both have attained their personal life goals well before she reached the age of thirty. Still, it hadn’t been until he’d lost hope of making a deep, true, long-term relationship work that he’d given the pact any real serious consideration.
“You love her,” said Jag.
“Yeah,” Dax readily admitted.
“Not surprised. You two fit.” Jag’s gaze cut to Addison. “I like her. Don’t like many people. But I like her.”
“There’s nothing not to like.”
His mouth kicking up, Jag gave him a taunting look. “Man, she’s dug in deep, hasn’t she?”
“Like a tick.” As a rule, Dax didn’t get close to people—it wasn’t purposeful, just instinctual. So he hadn’t expected to come to care for her. He’d thought maybe he’d grow to feel a sort of warm regard for her in time, but that was all.
However, when she’d lied for him to Lowe—no hesitation, no uneasiness, no guilt—he’d known he was in trouble. Because in doing that, and in saying the things to Dax she’d said afterwards, she’d made him feel something that few people outside his family had: Accepted.
It was such a simple thing, but it wasn’t something he’d encountered much in his life. So many people had disapproved of him, judged him, distrusted him, misunderstood him, attempted to change him, expected the worst of him. The very day she gave him the false alibi, the realization had hit him hard that none of those things applied to Addison.
No matter what, she’d stuck by him. She’d given him her loyalty even when he hadn’t yet earned it. She’d never discounted his version of a story, or trusted the version of another over his. She had so much faith in him—in not only his willingness and ability to keep her safe, but in the extent of his loyalty and solidity of his integrity.
More, she’d never asked that he be anything other than who and what he was.
“Happy for you,” Jag went on. “Wasn’t sure you’d let yourself have this. Thought you might fight Addison’s pull out of loyalty to Gracie. Glad you didn’t. She’d be pleased for you, and I reckon she’d like Addison. Like her for you.”
“She would.” All warmth and softness for the most part, Gracie would want him to have what he had with Addison. It was something he hadn’t had with any other, not even Gracie herself, if he was honest.
Falling for Addison made him face that, though Gracie had loved him, she hadn’t been so accepting of him. Though she hadn’t condemned or tried to change him, she’d often nagged at him to make all his businesses legitimate, telling him he could “be more.”
She’d meant well—he knew that. He’d understood she meant it as a compliment. But, after fucking years of peopleexpectingmore and different from him, it hadn’t felt good.
Nonetheless, he’d loved Gracie. He would have been happy with her, if life hadn’t torn them apart. But in truth, he didn’t believe he would have found the same level of contentment with her as he had with Addison.
“You heard from Mimi?” asked Jag.
Dax gave his head a slow shake. “And I don’t expect to. I finally got through to her last month at that party. She hated what she heard. She might even now hate me.”
“It’s a shit situation. But if hating you is the only way she’ll let go and move on, maybe it’s best.” Jag paused. “I noticed a ‘For Sale’ sign up in Felicity and Grayden’s front yard.”
“I heard about that.” Caelan had mentioned it.
Jag’s lips curved again. “Bet you’re not whatsoever heartbroken to hear they’ll be relocating.”
