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Her nose wrinkled. “Again, though, is that really a con?”
Considering it for a moment, I hummed. “Itcanbe fun to watch them lose their shit. Plop that on both lists. Also add the con that, since this is a business arrangement rather than a love match, there’s a higher risk of me and Dax divorcing.”
“Why would there be a higher risk?”
“He could grow to feel trapped, or meet someone who he’d feel suits him better. He wouldn’t cheat, but he might want to wiggle his way out of the marriage. The same could apply to me, really.” I gave her time to add my new points to the cons column before I went on, “He’s bossy and controlling and a total meddler.”
“Such is the nature of an alpha male. But you’re used to dealing with them, so I’d say you’ll handle it fine. Even so, I’ll jot it down.”
Biting my lip, I searched my mind for more negatives … and came up blank. “It’s worrying me that I can’t think of more cons. Why can’t I think of more?” Therehadto be some.
“Maybe because you don’t want to, so you’re indulging in the bliss of ignorance.”
That was what concerned me. I sank further into the sofa cushion. “Do you think I’d be stupid to say yes?”
“No. Arranged marriages can work. And we have a list of reasons here why he’d be a good choice of husband for you. Or me.”
I huffed and tipped my head back. “He said to ask myself if—should I say no but then my circumstances don’t change over the next five years—I’d regret the decision I made.”
“And would you?”
I rubbed at my forehead, reluctantly admitting, “Yes. Marleigh talks about soul mates and stuff; about Ollie being hers. She believes everyone’s other half is out there to find—plenty of people all over the world do. I don’t know if I believe it’s real, but I know I clicked with Lake in a way that I haven’t with anyone else. And if things keep going that way, I reallycouldbe alone in five years. At that point, I’d definitely give up and just go find a sperm donor. So would it really make much difference if I instead married someone for the purpose of having kids and all that jazz?”
“Not really. I’m sensing there’s a ‘but,’ though.”
“Butif I do say yes, I might spend my life wondering if I made the right choice or if I would have met someone I connected with if I’d only waited. It’d be unfair to Dax if I was doing that, wouldn’t it? Unfair that a part of me was all caught up in what ifs?”
She angled her body toward me. “I don’t think you’d do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because by then, you’ll have babies. And you’d never want to imagine a life that didn’t include them. Without Dax, they wouldn’t exist.”
I did a slow blink. She was actually right. I’d have not one regret, because it would mean wishing away the existence of my kids—that was something I’d never do.
She gently poked my shoulder. “I think you’re more worried thathe’llbe caught up in what ifs.”
Again, she was right. “He seems so sure about all this. So confident it’d pan out for us both. But I don’t know if he’s really considered what it would be like to share his life with someone he feels no attachment to. He sees the positives, but maybe not the negatives. Or he just didn’t mention the negatives because they wouldn’t add weight to his ‘You should totally marry me’ argument.”
“That’s certainly possible.” She placed the notepad and pen on the table. “Think on all this some more if you have to. It wouldn’t be wise to rush into making such a decision anyway. But if after chewing on it more thoroughly yougenuinelybelieve it could be the right thing for you, I see no reason why you shouldn’t do it. In fact, I say go for it.”
“Because you want what’s best for me, or because you want my house?”
“Can’t it be both?”
Rolling my eyes yet again, I gave my head a slow shake.
“A good person to talk to about this would be Brooks,” said Alicia, referring to the friend Dax and I shared. “He knows youandDax well—if there are cons we haven’t seen, he’ll spot them.”
He would. Plus, he often gave good advice. “I’ll call him tomorrow.” Since Brooks now lived in Africa and I wasn’t in a position to go traveling, I couldn’t talk about it with him in person.
“Did you ask for Sabrina’s opinion?”
“I don’t need to. I know she’ll urge me to do this—she’s the opposite of risk averse.”
Alicia allowed that with a tilt of her head. “Harri would be behind you—once she got over the shock, of course. Mom and Dad? Probably not. Ollie will want you to have what he has with Marleigh, so he’ll be against it. But they’ll all support your decision because they love you. Eventually, anyway.”
“I wonder how Dax’s family would feel about it.”
