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“My reasons … I don’t know if I can make you fully understand. To many others, my decision probably seems like an overreaction to my circumstances. But, to put it simply, I’m tired of waiting for what I want to come to me. It hasn’t happened. Maybe it would one day if I held out longer, but then it might not.”
Of all the men in my past other than Lake, only one stood out; only one never let me down; only one made their mark on me. That was Dax. If it hadn’t been for that, I might not have agreed to keep my word—I couldn’t be sure.
“I did some research on marriage pacts recently,” I told Kensey. “I saw plenty of success stories. I’m hoping that can apply to me and Dax.”
“I hold that same hope, but at the moment I’m kind of skeptical. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to ask that you call off the wedding. You’re both adults. Your choices are your own. And I do understand why he’s choosing to do this. But … I suppose I’d just like to hear that you feelsomethingfor him. Even if it’s only plain regard. Which may be unrealistic of me, but I hate the thought of him being stuck in an empty marriage.”
I sat back in my chair. “I won’t lie to you, I can’t claim to love him. But I trust him. I respect him. I would never deliberately hurt him. And I hope we can build something good and strong. Like him, I don’t intend for this to be a cold marriage.”
“That does make me feel a little better.” She sighed. “I worry that you two are making a mistake but, as I told Dax, I’m fully behind him if this is truly what he wants. I mean it. I’m telling you this because I think, in your shoes, I’d worry that his family was against me. We’re not. We’reallon the same side.”
I gave her a grateful smile. “Thank you.” I had been fretting that his parents would give me the cold shoulder.
“Not that I can honestly say Blake isn’t finding this hard to understand. But he has no issue at all with you. Only with the situation. He doesn’t fully get why Dax would consider this his best option.”
“If it wasn’t me he was marrying, it would be someone else. The impression I got is that he’s given up on trying to build a real relationship.”
“Yeah, I sensed that, too.” She took a moment to study me as intently as her son often did. “Are you sure this is truly what you want? I don’t only ask that as Dax’s mom. I ask it as someone who—being so happily married—knows what you could be missing out on by committing to someone you might never love.”
I really did like this woman. “It’s what I truly want.”
“Then I hope everything works out the way we want it to.” She got to her feet. “Take care, Addison.”
I rose from my chair. “You, too.”
No sooner had Kensey left than my best friend rushed inside, a hand on her chest.
“What was that all about?” asked Sabrina. “Did she come to talk you out of marrying Dax?”
“Actually, no.” I sank back into my seat. “She pretty much wanted the reassurance that I wasn’t utterly indifferent toward Dax. She was a lot nicer to me than what I suspect my dad and Ollie have been to him. Both sought Dax out yesterday to press him into backing out of the pact.” They’d also called me late last night to take another shot at making me reassess whether I was truly doing what was best for me.
Sabrina let out a loaded sigh. “I suppose we should have expected that.”
“I did expect it. I know how they are. Dax made it clear they were wasting their time, but I doubt they’ll so easily give up. It’s not in their nature.”
“Don’t be surprised if they give you a recommendation for a divorce lawyer as a wedding gift.”
A surprised chuckle bubbled up. “I wouldn’t put it past them. I’d make them pay for being interfering busybodies by forcing them to wear weird-ass buttonholes, but there’s no way to force them to do anything they don’t want.”
“You’re really no different in that respect, you know.”
“I do know. I’m fine with it. On a whole other subject, did you get Tamara to agree to be a bridesmaid?”
“No.” Sabrina’s lips thinned. “I tried. I really did. She wants to support you on your big day, but she has unflattering views of marriage and thinks the concept of it is bizarre and outdated. But hey, you’ll have Alicia and Harri.”
“AndRaven, Dax’s sister. I called her earlier. She wants to be included.” She’d been so sweet about it. “I emailed her a picture of the dress Alicia and Harri chose—she gave it a thumbs up.”
“Awesome. We totally need to bring her into the fold. Who’s the best man?”
“Dax’s brother, Caelan.”
“What about the rest of the groomsmen? Who are they?”
“Drey and two guys who seem close to all three brothers. Jagger—or Jag, as he’s mostly referred to—is the son of Kensey’s best friend and also a tattoo artist who works for Caelan. Maverick works at CCC, the place that builds custom motorcycles.”
Sabrina hummed. “I’ve heard plenty about CCC. And I think I’ve seen pictures of Maverick—he’s always photographed with Drey, right?”
“Yes, those two are pretty tight. I haven’t officially met Maverick, but I did meet Jag once—they’re cousins. And equally pleasant to look at.”
