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Typically, she would join them. They always welcomed her as one of their own. But they also respected a good pout, a straight shot of whiskey, and a “No thanks, I’m in a shitty mood tonight.”
So, she was sitting at the end of Ellie’s bar alone—or as alone as anyone really got in Ellie’s—when Beau walked through the door less than ten minutes later.
“Okay, let’s go,” he said, stopping next to her.
She picked up her glass of soda—the only thing she’d had since that first shot—and took the final swallow before setting it back down.
“Okay.” She turned on the stool and slid to the floor. She wobbled, but not because of intoxication. Because she was wearing heels. Which was also a stupid, desperate ploy to get his attention.
But it worked to get his hand on her elbow to keep her upright.
She was past the point of caring about being pathetic. Shehadto talk to him.
Once they stepped outside, she said, “Yes, I’m here alone.”
He didn’t say anything. He just started toward his truck. Thankfully there were a lot of other vehicles taking up space in front of Ellie’s so he had parked several yards from the door.
“I’m in a bad mood,” she said. “Didn’t want anyone else around.”
He sighed. “I’m not gonna ask you about your bad mood, Bec.” He kept tugging her across the dirt parking lot.
She stopped, digging in her heels. He stopped with a muttered curse and turned.
“I got offered the job.”
He just looked at her for a few beats, then shoved his hand through his hair. “Congratulations. I’m not surprised.” He glanced toward the door behind her. “Why the bad mood then?”
“Because I can’t tell anybody about it. Except you. And I have no fucking idea how you feel about it.”
He moved closer to her. “I’m happy about it. Happy for you. I think it’s great. You need to be in a bigger school system. Where there are more kids that you can help, other teachers you can work with, a community that will give you and the students and the programs the support you all deserve.”
She lifted her chin. “The only reason I’m not yelling at you right now is because I know you actually mean all of that. I know you actually think that me being there will be better for me. And you care enough about me that that’s what you want.”
“Of course it is.”
“I don’t get it. Why are you avoiding me then? I did what you thought I should do, I looked at a new job. I expanded my horizons. I thought outside the box. I decided not to just settle for what’s in Autre. And that’s when you closed off. You pulled away even further than you had when I first moved back. What do you want, Beau? Do you want me here in Autre or far away? Or do you really not care at all where I am?”
He advanced on her. Quickly. “I’ve not been staying away this week because I don’t care.” His voice was gruff and firm.
There were so many emotions swirling in his eyes, Becca felt her heart begin to pound.
“Then why? You’re the only person in my life who actually knows all about this. All of the different sides of what I’m dealing with here and that I’m even thinking about a new job and I haven’t been able to talk to you about it.”
He stared at her for a long moment, his breathing was uneven. “I’ve been staying away while you think it all through and make this decision because you said you’re considering me in everything and…you shouldn’t. This should beyour decision.”
She felt her eyes widen. “I don’t have to actuallyseeyou or talk to you to consider you. I’m in love with you whether I see you or not. And that’s been true for over a year. Even after we broke up. That’s not going to change now just because you’re being a stubborn ass.”
Finally, he took the step that brought him right up against her. He cupped her face in both hands. “I’ve also been staying away because the taste I got of you, and the realization that you might actually be leaving, has had me on the verge of buying a diamond ring for days. And if I didn’t stay busy or drunk, I would lose what little control I had and do something we both might regret.”
Her stomach and heart both flipped over. She looked at his mouth, then back to his eyes. “There is nothing you could do that I would regret.”
“I think leaving is the right thing for you. But it’s tearing my heart out.”
“I’m not leaving you. I can drive—”
He lowered his head and covered her mouth with his.
The kiss was desperate. It was hot, and deep, but there was definitely an edge to it. Like he couldn’t get enough. Like he wanted to drink her in and pour himself into her. And like he knew it was never going to be enough.
