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“Says the woman from Pinesville, New Jersey, famous for a creature everyone calls The Devil.”
“Yeah, yeah. Deflect all you want, Captain Sassypants. But think about it. Pinesville may have had the one creature—”
“Two,” Cody said. “It had a youngster.”
“Fine. Two of the same damn monster. But Parson’s Hollow seems to be attracting a lot of weirdness itself.”
“Look, I admit Demmy and I have seen a lot of weird shit. Do I like it? No. But we can’t seem to get away from it. And, to be honest, a lot of that weird shit hasn’t happened here in town.”
“Werewolves,” Eileen said, puffing on her pipe.
“Yeah, Arnold Kelmer, our first run in, was bitten over in Romania, and then moved here because his kids wanted him closer to them. And that fuck Nicolae came here to get revenge for us killing Kelmer.”
“What about the other weird shit?”
“The chupacabra was a dog, and that happened because of experimental drugs at GRUNT labs. Which, by the way, was also responsible for the zombies earlier this summer.”
“Fine, you’ve got human explanations for all of it,” Eileen said.
“Well, I mean, there’s no human explanation for the existence of werewolves, but that’s beside the point.”
“Just hear me well, Cody.” She took the pipe from her mouth and leaned closer over the arm of the chair, lowering her voice. “There’s been some hinky business going on in this town for a while now. And, whether they like it or not, these people are going to need you, Demetrius my grandson, and his fiancé more than they ever have before.”
A chill went up Cody’s spine at the intensity of her expression. “I’m not sure Ollie and my brother would buy into that, but, yeah, okay, I’m hearing you. I’ve gotta say, though, I’m getting really tired of being the one to save this town and then get shit for thanks about it.”
“Heroes are never appreciated in their time.”
“Lovely sentiment. Chisel it on my tombstone.”
The door to the condo opened, and Dieter stuck his head out. His hair was thick and bright white, worn in a combed-back pompadour that stood at least three inches tall at its pinnacle. Pince-nez glasses sat firmly on the bridge of his nose, and his bright, blue eyes widened and sparkled at the sight of Cody.
“I thought I heard my favorite client out here.” Dieter’s voice was full and deep, strong from years of courtroom trials. He stepped onto the porch and Cody marveled at his white pants, white dress shirt, and black bolo tie with a sparkling zirconia clasp. His full and neatly trimmed goatee and mustache matched his hair and made him look more than a little like Colonel Sanders.
Cody always seemed to crave fried chicken after talking with Dieter.
“Aren’t you retired?” Cody groused. “I think that makes me your only client.”
Eileen got to her feet with a quiet groan. “I’ll let you two talk shop. Time for my stories anyway.”
Dieter bent to kiss her cheek as she passed him, then sat in the chair she had vacated. “You’re in a mood.”
“I was served papers today.”
Cody wasn’t sure if he felt relieved or worried when Dieter sat up straighter and his eyes lit up.
“Papers, you say?”
CHAPTER SEVEN
The following morning, Friday, Demetrius was sitting at his desk and had just reached into the bag from Marvelous Muffins when Oliver Berridge walked into the Critter Catchers office.
“Hey there,” Demetrius said as he extracted a muffin. Banana nut. That would do, though he’d been hoping to snag the chocolate chip. He and Cody had decided to have a bit of fun with their weekend muffin treat from the recently opened bakery by ordering five different muffins and treating the bag like a claw machine: they just reached in without looking and ate whatever they pulled out. Over the course of the weekend, which they had decided officially started on Friday, they each got two muffins, and then split the final one.
Married life. Who knew it could be so adventurous? At least without the involvement of a monster.
“Hi. Muffin claw machine?” Oliver said as he sat in Cody’s chair on the other side of the pushed together desks.
“Yeah.”
