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“He’s not my workout buddy,” Cody said, dropping into his desk chair. “He’s a dick.”
“Either way, don’t direct that angry energy my way.” Jugs tapped at his phone a couple of times, then placed it face down on the tabletop. “You’re really going to help me with this job?”
“Yeah, of course.” Cody stood and pulled his keys from his pocket. “I am going to drive myself, however.”
Jugs pushed to his feet and gave him a look. “In case you get a better offer on the way?”
“Well, yeah.” Cody shrugged. “I mean, I need to leave my options open.”
Jugs threw a fake punch to his gut that made Cody cry out and jerk away. With a grin, Jugs slugged him twice in the upper arm. “Two for flinching.”
“Dick.”
“The biggest.”
Cody made a face. “Gross.”
Jugs turned to use his backside to push the door open. “Jealous?”
“Of a lie?” Cody said, following him out the door. “Nope.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I might,” Cody said. “I didn’t place an order for coveralls with extra room in the crotch, so I doubt it’s the biggest.”
“Why are you like this?” Jugs asked.
Cody smiled over his shoulder as he locked the office door. “To make your life complete.”
“Dude.”
Jugs walked off toward his truck, and Cody climbed into his. He followed Jugs out of the lot and into town. As he drove along Main Street, he was happy to see Margie’s was about half full of Saturday morning diners. There was a line out the door at Hollow Grounds, the coffeeshop a few doors down from Margie’s, and Cody realized he’d only had one cup of coffee so far that morning. He’d have to correct that after this job.
He kept half an eye out for Jordie’s truck with its douchebag personalized license plate but didn’t see any sign of it before pulling to the curb behind Jugs in front of a brick bungalow. After getting into their coveralls—Cody grinning as he mentioned once more the standard roominess of the crotch then dodging the smack Jugs tried to deliver—they grabbed headlamps, gloves, and cages and climbed the steps to the small front porch. The man who opened the door was harried with a severe case of bed head, glasses that kept slipping down his nose, and three children under five screaming as they clutched at his legs.
“Thank God you’re here,” the man said.
“You know we only remove critters,” Cody said with a smile. “Not children.”
The man returned an exhausted smile. “What if I give you a really big tip?”
“You know, we were just discussing…”
“Never mind,” Jugs said, shooting him a dirty look before smiling at the man and introducing himself and Cody.
The man picked up the youngest child, directed the other two to a small plastic table covered with papers and crayons and instructed them to draw what squirrels look like. Once the two oldest were occupied, the man adjusted the youngest child in his arms and led them to a door in the hallway with a child lock on it. He released the child lock and opened the door. Waving up the stairs, he said, “The attic access is at the top of the stairs. Please ignore the mess in the bedroom. My wife and I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in five years.”
“No judgment here,” Jugs said. “We’ll handle the squirrels, don’t worry.”
Cody followed Jugs up the steps, looking over his shoulder when the man closed the door and engaged the child lock again.
“Did he just lock us in?” Cody said.
“I think it’s more he locked the children out.”
“Yeah, still… Kind of creepy.”
“This isn’t a monster case,” Jugs said. “Relax. We’re nowhere near water.”
