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I shake my head in the darkness. “No, I have to be there to make sure everything goes as we planned it. I’m responsible for the lives of each and every one of my men. They depend on me just as much as I depend on them.”
“You can’t just… shoot from a distance?” she asks, already sounding defeated.
“Baby, let me tell you something,” I say, placing my hand on her cold cheek. “I’ve done stuff like this dozens of times. My men know how to sweep the halls, they know how to shoot, and they’re taking Lorenzo and his guys by complete surprise. We’ll have them on both ends. I’m just heading in after them to make sure everything is fine. If I sense that something is wrong, I’ll be back out in a heartbeat.”
“You promise?”
I plant a quick kiss on her cheek. “I promise. I don’t want to die either, so I’m going to be very careful, okay?”
“Okay,” she replies, her voice barely audible over the sound of the helicopter blades slicing through the dead air.
It’s almost time to strike. I check my rifle one last time, flicking off the safety switch and pulling back the slide an inch to check that there’s a round in the chamber.
All good.
This shouldn’t take more than minute, but it’s a shame I won’t get to watch Lorenzo die slower. I had imagined a more elaborate end for him, something with a good steel set of pliers and all of his fingernails on the floor in front of him. Ideally, I’d keep him alive for days, torturing him until he lost his mind. Only then would he lose his life as well.
But my fantasies have been overruled by the need to protect Lola, and risking this mission just to guarantee a more satisfying kill isn’t going to happen anymore.
In and out. If Lorenzo is dead, then I’m happy.
The first gunshot catches all of us off-guard. It’s muffled but loud in the stillness of the early morning, coming from inside the train. There’s a flash in the window, then another, and soon, the shooting sounds like the grand finale fireworks show on the fourth of July.
“Go, go, go!” I belt, jumping up and waving my men into action.
Some of them have already reached the train before I duck down behind our snow bunker. I hear more gunshots, but they’re further apart, more sporadic and opportunistic.
We’re winning.
I almost can’t stand to be on this side of the battle for so long, waiting instead of fighting. It goes against everything inside me that’s screaming for me to jump up and run in without any kind of plan.
My heart overrides my instinct as I pull Lola close, kissing her on the forehead as she shrinks to the sound of more gunshots. “It’s almost over, my love,” I whisper into her ear.
“Don’t go,” she replies, clinging to me as I try to release her.
“You’ll be okay. Remember? I promised.”
“Promise me again. Swear you won’t let them take you from me,” she says, her voice growing louder as she begins to cry.
“Baby, listen to me,” I say, taking her by the shoulders and looking into her glistening eyes. “I know you’re not ready for any of this, but I want you to know something. I lo–”
She presses her finger to my lips, shaking her head. “Don’t say that. You don’t need to yet.”
“But it’s true,” I reply, feeling a tug at my heart.
“People say that kind of shit right before they get themselves killed. You should have plenty of time to say it after we’re finished here,” she insists, pressing her finger into my lips even harder. “Just don’t fuck this up, Jasha. I need you. Our baby needs you.”
I grab her finger, pulling it from my lips. “I love you,” I blurt as I jump to my feet.
I run before she has the chance to slap sense into me.
The ground flies beneath me. Snow doesn’t matter when I’m sprinting this fast. My body is being driven by a higher force, and the urge to take Lorenzo out is overwhelming. It courses through my blood like snake venom, poisoning my mind with evil intentions.
I don’t want to be good anymore.
I want to kill.
I sling my rifle from my chest to my hands as I board the train. There’s no going back. I don’t even look over my shoulder as I enter, pushing past two of my men and jumping over a body on the ground.
